Five minutes with … mindfulness coach Marijke McCandless
Tell us about your new book, “Naked in the Now: Juicy Practices for Getting Present.”
Marijke McCandless: It strips off the layers and explores what it means to get vulnerable with someone. I take a lighthearted, playful attitude when I write that this is like going on an inner striptease. These are practices from over a decade. They are all short but will help you change your mindset, teach you the power of vulnerability and authenticity, and allow you to experience moments of delight.
How did issues in your own marriage inform this book?
My husband and I were at a tough point in our relationship. When our kids were 3 and 6, he had an affair with my best friend that threw my world upside down. But I knew my husband was going through some stuff, too. We had been pretty close. We both realized that either we were going to separate or do something else to dive deeper together. … We went to traditional couples therapy that was really good. We also signed up for a yearlong love, meditation and ecstasy training that shifted my mindset from being a suburban mom of two to an explorer. … The work we did brought us back together.
You suggest meditation as a wonderful, healthy practice.
People think about meditating, then feel like it’s too much work. They ask, “How do I even do it? How do I start?” Try five- to 10-minute practices. It’s not about getting into some state. It’s about practicing and noticing what it feels like to be present instead of just being in a story in your head.
You want readers to capture delight in their lives, yes?
Just shift your mindset a little bit. Notice the tiny little moments of delight in your day. Our days abound with delights. We just don’t dip into them and we overlook them. If you begin to appreciate a little more, you will see real change.
How can you train your mind not to worry?
One of my teachers once told me that we are wired to suffer. Our brain is spending too many of our waking moments looking for what’s wrong and then asking us to alter or fix it. You don’t have to be that way. Four times a day, ask yourself: What else is here other than your worrying thoughts? Just take one minute and list one sight, one sound, one touch, one smell and more that is good. Tune into the moment right now.
How long have you lived in Vegas?
I’m fairly new to Vegas, via San Diego. What brought us to Vegas is my husband and I are rock climbers. Older rock climbers. … Vegas seemed like a great place to live and climb, yet Las Vegas is the last place I would have imagined myself living. What I have found out is that it feels like 50 percent of the people face the Strip and the other half face Red Rock and get out there and love it. I love it. It’s a special spirituality when you appreciate the environment.
Is Vegas a spiritual place?
Absolutely. Up in the Red Rock mountains, it’s just shockingly beautiful. Especially before a rain, when the sky is full of colors. … It’s just so inspiring and spiritual. My husband and I look at each other standing on a mountain and say, “This is where we want to be.” ◆