‘Atomic Blonde’ sexy and brutal, but can’t live up to the hype

In the opening moments, she emerges from an ice bath, covered in horrific-looking bruises and appearing more tenderized than some steaks I’ve eaten. It’s the worst she’s looked since her Oscar-winning turn as serial killer Aileen Wuornos in “Monster.”

Her character, MI6 Agent Lorraine Broughton, obviously is in an amount of pain I’ve never experienced. But I do know hurt, like the kind of hurt I feel when admitting “Atomic Blonde,” a movie I’ve been itching to see since March, doesn’t live up to the hype.

Oh, it has its moments.

With George Michael’s “Father Figure” blaring in the background, Lorraine uses an extension cord to lay out a half dozen German policemen without getting so much as a garter out of place.

And an unflinchingly brutal 10-minute encounter she has with a series of armed men is easily the fight of this and many other years. Presented as one unrelenting, unbroken take, it’s pretty much the only thing in “Atomic Blonde” that looks unbroken. Lorraine would make a fantastic demolition crew for all of those renovation shows on HGTV.

“Atomic Blonde” also practically oozes sex. Sit close enough to the screen, and you’re likely to get some of it on you.

With her short skirts, those aforementioned garters, as well as thigh-high leather boots, stilettos and ankle boots wrapped in chains, Lorraine makes some of the least practical fashion choices you’ll ever see from someone who’s almost always fighting for her life. And to think, Bryce Dallas Howard was roasted online when her character survived “Jurassic World” in a pair of sensible heels.

Between Lorraine and French intelligence agent Delphine Lasalle (Sofia Boutella, “The Mummy”), with whom she develops a professional and personal relationship, the movie’s lingerie budget alone must have been staggering.

Helmed by “John Wick” co-director David Leitch — from a script by Kurt Johnstad (“300”) based on Antony Johnston’s graphic novel “The Coldest City” — “Atomic Blonde” is crackling with style and attitude. It’s visually scrumptious. There’s just not much in the way of story.

A list of covert operatives has been stolen — which I’m pretty sure has been the plot of at least half the “Mission: Impossible” movies — and it’s up to Lorraine to infiltrate East Berlin and West Berlin in the final days of the Wall to keep it away from rival spy agencies and return it to London.

She’s partnered with Berlin station chief David Percival (James McAvoy), a hot mess of a spy his MI6 superiors fear has “gone native.” So before she leaves London, she’s given three words of advice: Trust no one.

“Atomic Blonde” is centered around Lorraine’s interrogation, 10 days after an incident in Berlin, by an MI6 investigator (Toby Jones) and a high-ranking CIA operative (John Goodman) that mostly just serves to interrupt the movie’s flow.

The action scenes are simply stunning, jaw-dropping even, but there just aren’t enough of them to overcome “Atomic Blonde’s” lumbering plot.

The terrific soundtrack includes the likes of David Bowie, New Order, ’Til Tuesday, Siouxsie & The Banshees and the most mournful cover version of “99 Luftballons” you’ll probably ever hear.

But in the end, despite Theron’s herculean efforts, “Atomic Blonde” mostly feels like a mash-up of every “Bourne” movie and VH1’s “I Love the ’80s.”

Contact Christopher Lawrence at clawrence@reviewjournal.com or 702-380-4567. Follow @life_onthecouch on Twitter.