The ultimate guide to When We Were Young festival

And that pretty much encapsulates When We Were Young, where those shirts were spotted last fall.

This weekend, the two-day emo- and pop punk-leaning fest returns to the Las Vegas Festival Grounds after three sold-out shows last October. (The first day was ultimately canceled because of high winds.)

Here’s a paradox, though: How can emos sustain their trademark sadness amid more than 60 bands playing each day, offering the concert equivalent of an all-you-can-eat buffet of pleading vocals, endless breakup songs and tunes that soundtracked many a high school prom circa 2004?

Conundrum!

Ah well, you might as well just show up and have a great time. Here’s your guide to doing so:

How to get there

There’s no parking at the venue, and with most of the nearby casinos limiting their parking garages to guests only during the festival, you’ll have to rideshare or perhaps attach a household cooling device to your back and parachute into the place “Fan Man”-style. (Go ahead and laugh, it’s been done before in these parts.)

Pro tip for locals: Park at a casino at the south end of the Strip (MGM Grand, Flamingo, Horseshoe) and take the monorail to the Sahara right across the street from the venue.

What should you wear?

Rhetorical question.

We all know you’re going to come dressed head to toe in black, looking like one of Something Corporate’s piano keys incarnate.

Just remember, it starts getting cold at night right about now.

At When We Were Young last year, temperatures dipped into the high 40s on the fest’s opening weekend, causing some fans to crowd around a fire-spewing octopus art installation for heat on Sunday night.

At a festival that’s all about wearing your heart on your sleeve, it might be wise to make sure those sleeves are attached to a hoodie.

How will you see every band you want to see?

Well, you might not.

With so many bands playing on five stages, often simultaneously, there are bound to be conflicts that are enough to make an emo even more melancholic somehow, which is kind of like finding a way to make water more wet.

Still, the fest is set up to minimize said conflicts: The two main stages are positioned right next to each other, with one band getting ready to perform as another one plays nearby, so there’s no downtime between sets and you can stand in one spot and see both stages.

Also, the smaller stages rotate. So again, bands can ready themselves to perform while another plays, limiting downtime.

You might not be able to see everything, but you can still see a lot.

10 bands not to miss

■ Blink-182: The alternately puerile and zeppelin-hearted pop punk favorites play Vegas for the first time in a decade with singer-guitarist Tom Delonge, who rejoined the band this year. Expect the diarrhea jokes to flow from the stage like, well, you know …

■ Green Day: Start learning the chords to Operation Ivy’s “Knowledge” now: Green Day has been bringing up a fan from the crowd to play the ska-punk classic at its shows for years now.

■ Sum 41: This may be your last chance to see the once-hard-partying pop punk troupe. Sum 41 announced that it’s calling it a day after a farewell album and tour.

■ Thrice: The SoCal quartet is celebrating the 20th anniversary of its third and best-selling album, “The Artist in the Ambulance,” which is among the most definitive post-punk records of the early aughts.

■ The Front Bottoms: Laugh till you cry with this spirit-boosting folk punk duo (which expands its lineup live). The group’s songbook is equally wry and winsome, a good-time-in-waiting with tunes often delivered with a wink.

■ Beach Bunny: Beach Bunny frontwoman Lili Trifilio dissects her self-doubts in song in such open, infectious fashion, it almost makes insecurity endearing. We’re calling it now: The indie popsters’ “Prom Queen” will inspire one of the most full-throated crowd singalongs of the weekend.

■ Joyce Manor: Most of this acclaimed pop punk trio’s albums clock in around 20 minutes or less, which means they can pack a whole lot of hooks and heartache into a half-hour set.

■ Michelle Branch: This veteran singer-songwriter feels like some welcome counterprogramming here. She’s plenty emotive, if not exactly emo. Does that count?

■ The Offspring: Don’t be a sucker with low self-esteem and miss your chance to shout along to one ’90s punk anthem after the next when The Offspring air plenty of MTV staples from back when Furbies were still a thing.

■ Thirty Seconds to Mars: These Jared Leto-fronted rockers collaborated with Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds on a song from their new record, “It’s the End of the World but It’s a Beautiful Day.” Maybe Reynolds will join the band on stage in his hometown? Probably not, but perhaps you can find a way to corner Leto and get him to sign your “Morbius” poster.

What to do before/after the fest

You mean aside from stocking up on waterproof mascara?

Well, in addition to the fest itself, a number of sideshows affiliated with the event are taking place at various venues around town, because, you know, 60-plus bands and 12 to 13 hours of music in one day is merely an appetizer of sadness.

This year’s lineup:

Fit for a King and The Devil Wears Prada, House of Blues at Mandalay Bay, 6:30 p.m. Thursday.

■ Something Corporate, House of Blues at Mandalay Bay, 7:30 p.m. Friday.

■ All Time Low, The Pearl at the Palms, 8 p.m. Friday.

■ Sum 41, Brooklyn Bowl at the Linq Promenade, 8 p.m. Friday.

■ Emo Night Brooklyn with special guests, Brooklyn Bowl, 11 p.m. Saturday and Sunday.

Contact Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476. Follow @jbracelin76 on Instagram.