Bad Jeans
Mom Jeans has died. The high-waisted denim trend, often held up with an elastic waistband, died of old age last night. Doctors say she just had bad genes. Her mile-long zippers went with her.
Out-of-touch soccer moms and PTA presidents everywhere are mourning the loss of Jeans. “The new girl, High Waist, just doesn’t compare,” said a sobbing fan outside the Fashion Hospital, where Jeans couldn’t be saved. “She’s just so, I don’t know, fashion-forward!”
Although some have mistaken High Waist for Mom Jeans, because the two shared the prominent high-rise waist feature, they couldn’t be more different. Waist takes a liking to style consciousness, while Jeans completely disregarded it, a quality her fans admired.
Those who favored Jeans took comfort in the way she snubbed fashion. She would turn her head at modern trends and point her nose as high as she could.
Despite the fashion world’s disputes with Mom Jeans, one thing is certain: Minivans, scrapbooks and holiday-themed clothing will never be the same.
Rest in peace, Mom Jeans.