OUT OF HIDING
Camouflage Print has died. The announcement came late last night from fashion police who investigated his disappearance after receiving calls from concerned soldiers. After months of searching for Camo, who had a knack for blending in with all walks of life, police discovered his remains in a patch of Astro Turf. Friends concluded it was a final attempt to hide himself from the outside world, a pastime of Camo’s that the retail industry deprived him of.
In a nod to troops, mall favorites such as Forever 21, Express and Charlotte Russe began sheltering Camo. Shoppers enjoyed the war veteran’s company and many took him home with them. A nice gesture, but close relatives — Army Greens and Dress Whites — wanted Camo home. And so did fashion critics.
While celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Gwen Stefani warmed up to Camo, worst-dressed lists unleashed a beating on him. The mixed messages fatigued the chameleon-like character. He found the fashion world brutal and longed for front line battle.
May Camouflage Print rest in peace.
Contact fashion reporter Xazmin Garza at xgarza@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0477.