Cremation preference points to independent streak in Nevadans’ bones

Not teen pregnancies. Not suicides. Not foreclosures.

But it’s an odd list, of course, that we’re atop.

Did you know that more Nevadans prefer to be cremated than buried?

Hawaii is No. 1 and Nevada is No. 2 among states when it comes to favoring cremation, according to the “Wirthlin Report: A Study of American Attitudes Toward Ritualization and Memorialization.”

In Nevada, 65 percent of us prefer cremation. Hawaii edges us out with 66 percent. The recently released report relies on a survey of attitudes, plus actual cremation statistics from each state.

The reason for Hawaii topping the list is obvious: the lack of land. Where would their tourists go if the islands were overrun with graveyards?

But Nevada’s high ranking seemed a little odd. Until you think about it.

There’s certainly no land shortage in this sprawling state, although it’s getting crowded in the cities.

But aren’t gamblers sort of here and now types? Live for the moment. Don’t think about tomorrow. Don’t waste money on burial when cremation is cheaper. Use the savings to let it ride on black on a roulette wheel. It’s just so, so practical.

People in Western states look more favorably on cremation; people in Southern states are the least likely to choose it.

The Wirthlin study conducted for the Cremation Association of North America said there are five primary reasons people say they choose cremation: It saves money. It saves land. It’s simpler. The body is not in the earth. It’s just a preference.

Less frequent reasons included “claustrophobia” and “Don’t want bugs eating my body.”

I’m among the 46 percent of Americans who favor cremation, at least for me, partly because I’m an organ donor (not because I’m cheap).

“Those who favor cremation tend to be better educated and from households with higher incomes,” the study said in a reassuring and ego-building way.

But there are some folks who just don’t like the concept. Mormons and Orthodox Jews discourage cremation. Practicing Baptists, more than any other religion, are more likely to shun cremation because it destroys the body, the Wirthlin report said. Muslims also prefer burial.

But Catholics don’t have a prohibition against cremation. For Hindus and Buddhists, cremation is mandatory.

In the United States, African-Americans don’t embrace cremation based on the mistaken belief that cremation means there will be no service, and black funerals are important culturally.

Rest assured, I’m among the 89 percent who want a service, one with laughter and one where my enemies are not allowed in. You know, the ones who would come just to make sure I was finally dead and would write no more bad things about them.

My current plan is a service where the genuine mourners would eat M&Ms in my memory. At one point, when contemplating my own funeral, I favored having people throw M&Ms atop my casket as they said their final farewells. But I ditched that plan. The practical side of me thinks people should be able to enjoy them while thinking positively about me, the one who provided chocolate happiness.

The unanswered question: What to do with my ashes?

While 56 percent want an urn and 10 percent plan to keep that urn at home, I’m more like the 39 percent who believe in scattering the ashes.

But where?

The Mirage volcano was in the running because it’s so Vegasy. But whoever does the deed might get in trouble. Tossing me from the top of a hotel doesn’t appeal to me because I don’t want my ashes to be falling down into the hair of tourists. Not good for them, not good for me. Although it would satisfy my love of travel by taking me all over the world. No. That’s still too creepy.

I’ll keep thinking about where I would like to end up.

But apparently I’ll be competing for a final resting place with the rest of the 65 percent of Nevadans who don’t equate cremation with entering the fiery bowels of hell, but see it instead as something that saves the environment as well as a few bucks.

The Nevada spirit of independence prevails, even in death.

Jane Ann Morrison’s column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0275.