Appeal to raise CANE denied

Those aren’t my words, but I had similar thoughts when I learned Thursday of an administrative law judge’s rejection of Dara Goldsmith’s argument that her personalized license plate, "CANE," was not a reference to an illegal drug.

Goldsmith appealed the recall of her personalized plate by the Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles late last year.

A complaint from "Rob H." set the wheels of bureaucracy into motion, and a DMV committee decided that CANE was, or could be construed as, a reference to cocaine.

An alum of the University of Miami School of Law, Goldsmith said her plate actually was referencing the nickname of school’s athletic teams, the Hurricanes. The name often is shortened to "Canes," or "Cane" in the case of an individual.

In a thoroughly researched, 17-page decision, which apparently took four months to work up, Administrative Law Judge Toni Boone sided with the DMV.

The Nevada Administrative Code says a plate cannot slander race, ethnic heritage, religion, gender or political party. Nor can it connote any sexual, vulgar, derogatory, profane, or obscene use. It can’t reference drugs or drug paraphernalia or gangs, or defame a person or group.

Boone agreed that CANE could be interpreted as a phonetic reference to cocaine.

DMV spokesman Tom Jacobs defended the decision. "It’s not a freedom of speech issue: you can put anything on your car you want; you don’t get to put anything you want on your license plate."

Jacobs acknowledges, however, that "there was no inappropriate intent" on Goldsmith’s part.

"In Miami, if you had the plate, everyone would conclude that you were a graduate of the University of Miami," he said. "But that’s not the first thought in Nevada."

According to the decision handed down by Boone, three of the five committee members felt CANE was offensive.

Most of the plates the DMV denies or recalls never see such a challenge, Jacobs said. He contends that folks don’t challenge the rejection because they knew the plates were inappropriate to begin with.

Goldsmith has another theory: When she received the letter recalling her plates, there was no mention that an appeal process was available. People don’t fight the DMV because they don’t know they can, she said.

She was aware of the process because of another well-publicized spat with the DMV, the fight over the personalized plate "XSTACY."

"I think you should be told" of your right to an appeal hearing, Goldsmith said. "The average person is not a lawyer."

I agree. It’s unbelievable. Disgusting. Not surprising.

Now for that four-word commentary on the DMV’s decision that I quoted to start this column. It’s from Rob H., the person who complained to the DMV about CANE to begin with.

It appears that Rob H. filed the complaint with tongue firmly planted in cheek, or with an ax to grind.

"I tried for one day to find vanity plates that could … be construed to be in any way even remotely drug related. I thought I found some pretty ridiculous examples, just to make my point, i.e. CANE," he wrote via e-mail.

He wouldn’t elaborate on what point he was trying to make, but my guess is he might have had his own vanity plate shot down by the DMV because someone thought it was offensive.

"When I was told that it (CANE) would be investigated, I told the state exactly what and why I did what I did, and exactly how ridiculous they were being," he wrote.

"They still took action? Unbelievable. Disgusting. Not surprising."

Another plate Rob H. complained to the DMV about was "TAKATRP" — take a trip. "Probably some unsuspecting travel agent, another cog in the wheel of the drug cartels, helping to fund terrorism," he joked in his e-mail.

I learned Friday that TAKATRP also was recalled and is listed on the DMV’s Web site as unsuitable.

Apparently, if you take offense at the most innocuous thing, the DMV will oblige and recall the plate.

Goldsmith, however, said she was more disappointed in the process than the result.

"Hopefully DMV will do a better job" of rejecting plates earlier in the application process, she said. "It would be easier to be denied in the beginning."

Goldsmith did win one point in her case. Boone agreed that because cocaine is a collective noun that has no plural in common usage, then CANES would be an appropriate substitute.

CANES, however, appears to be already in use by another motorist.

Jacobs said the DMV will work with Goldsmith to find another appropriate substitute.

Maybe "STRAIGHT TO THE MOON, DMV, STRAIGHT TO THE MOON" is available?

It’s probably a bit too long.

If you have a question, tip or tirade, call Francis McCabe at (702) 387-2904, or send an e-mail to roadwarrior@reviewjournal.com. Please include your phone number.