Some casino parking garages better bets than others

After more than three years of living in Las Vegas, I can say I’ve been to every major casino property on and off the Strip.

Since becoming the Road Warrior, I have taken a keen interest in parking garages. Which ones are the hardest to navigate? Which are the busiest? Which is the dirtiest? Why are all those shoe prints on the walls?

For the most part, the parking lots at casino properties are all pretty standard and no different than the common strip mall lot.

Nevertheless, here’s my list. Consider it the Oscars for casino parking garages, even if it’s just my opinion.

MOST SNEAKER PRINTS ON THE WALL: The Sahara

Personally, I love the absurdity of this phenomenon. It can be seen in almost every parking garage in the valley, but for some reason more-so at the Sahara.

It seems to be based on a purely “monkey see — monkey do” attitude. I am amazed by how many people are willing to ruin a perfectly good pair of socks so they can slam their shoe print into the ceiling. I’ve asked parking attendants and valet drivers around the valley why this happens. They don’t seem to know.

DIRTIEST PARKING GARAGE: Binion’s

Listen, all parking garages are filthy to a degree. But when I use the Binion’s garage the stench of urine and vomit seem to be a bit more potent. The grime is a bit darker. And the dust, a bit dustier.

HARDEST PARKING GARAGE TO GET TO: The Bellagio

Between the jaywalking pedestrians, taxi cabs cutting you off to avoid the long wait to turn and other drivers slowing down to watch the water fountain show, sometimes I feel I’m taking my life and at least a dozen other people’s lives in my hands here. Turning into the Bellagio from southbound Las Vegas Boulevard might be the most frustrating right hand turn in the history of right hand turns.

Runner-up: Harrah’s

EASIEST GARAGE TO GET TO: Caesars Palace

Seven words: Frank Sinatra Drive to Jay Sarno Way. There’s no more ideal route for getting in and out of a casino property. Motorists have a traffic signal at the intersection to help guide them, which also makes it easier for those turning left.

Even from Las Vegas Boulevard access seems easier. For some reason, pedestrians don’t jaywalk as much in front of Caesars.

WORST CASINO ACCESS FROM A GARAGE: The Palms

This category also could be titled the “You’re Better Than That Award.” The parking garage at the Palms feels like an underachievement.

Do I really have to walk outside to gain access to the casino?

While it could be argued that other properties have worse access going from the garage to the casino (the Golden Nugget makes you cross a city street), at least those properties are confined by zoning restraints. The Palms could’ve built direct access and didn’t.

BEST CASINO ACCESS FROM A GARAGE: Red Rock Resort

There’s nothing better than parking in a garage, walking a few feet to the elevator, and once off the elevator walking right into the heart of everything the property has to offer.

SCARIEST PARKING GARAGE: Circus-Circus

Maybe it’s my fear of clowns, but the parking garages at Circus-Circus remind me of the hole in the ground in Jame Gumb’s house: Dark, dank and spooky.

After parking I feel like I have to put the lotion in the basket.

Runner-up: The Plaza

HARDEST TO NAVIGATE: Hooters Casino

The spaces and lanes are as tiny as the shorts on the cocktail waitresses.

Runner-up: Hard Rock Casino

BUSIEST PARKING GARAGE: MGM Grand

Was there any doubt?

Seldom have I ever found a spot that wasn’t on the fifth level abutting Koval Lane. Then you have to walk what seems like three miles to the elevators and even farther to the entrance.

By the time I get to the entrance, I’m so tired I want to go home.

Here’s a theory on Tupac’s murder, which happened just outside the MGM Grand. He was gunned down over a confrontation over a parking spot.

BEST RV PARKING: South Point

Although I don’t drive an RV, you can’t help but notice that the South Point caters specifically to RV drivers. Standing next to it, I feel like Tiny Elvis: “That lot is huge.”

WORST OVERALL: The Venetian

Clumsy, awkward and overcrowded are the three words that come to mind. It’s hard to maneuver. It’s not very clean. It’s not wide enough, not long enough and has way too many levels. You can get dizzy circling up these levels.

If you’re planning on parking there, tack on at least an extra 30 minutes to find a spot. It’s so frustrating I’ve taken to parking at the Palazzo and walking to The Venetian.

BEST OVERALL: Wynn

There are a few casino properties that have done well by their customers by building an easily accessible parking garage. Texas Station, Santa Fe Station, Suncoast, Red Rock Resort, and Mandalay Bay got it right.

But Wynn was one of the first to put electronic counters at the entrance to each level to let motorists know how many spaces were available.

The parking garage is pretty clean.

The lanes are wide and easy to maneuver.

The levels are neither too wide, nor too long, so you don’t feel like you have to walk a marathon just to get to the casino entrance.

The casino is easily accessed via a centrally located elevator.

If you’re making a right turn, it’s easy to get in and out from Las Vegas Boulevard. And the left turn from the Strip is pretty easy. I’ve never had a bad experience using it.

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So, you know what I think. Now I want hear what you think. Please e-mail or call me with your thoughts and comments at roadwarrior@ reviewjournal.com or 387-2904. You can use the categories above or feel free to create your own categories. And for any casino property that wishes to defend its parking garage, I’ll be happy to print the response. Depending on participation I will run the follow-up column either May 24 or 31.

If you have a question, tip or tirade, call the Road Warrior at 702-387-2904, or e-mail him at roadwarrior@reviewjournal.com. Please include your phone number.