Vehicles at SEMA show go to extremes

This was a silly-big truck with tires that would reach the shoulders of someone with a 5-foot-7 frame.

After bellowing “badass” a couple dozen times, the men continued on, giving me a chance to check out this beast, actually a customized Ford Excursion. The feature that drew their attention was not any fancy lift kit, apparently, but a large glowing Velociraptor head affixed to the axle.

Now I know a thing or two about vehicles, like, dinosaur-head axle decorations are a rarity, so I thought I might appreciate the Specialty Equipment Market Association show at the Las Vegas Convention Center last week.

The second-guessing began about 200 steps into the convention hall. This is when the guy manning the Velociraptor exhibit offered me a tour of the truck and, as we finished up, he smirked and asked if I’d seen his behind.

Yeah, I saw the dinosaur head, I said, clearly ruining what was going to be a crazy-funny rear-axle joke.

Maybe this show wasn’t for everyone, but onward.

At the far end of the hall from the beastly Velociraptor gathered an entirely different crowd. Middle-aged bespectacled men snapped photos of the Tango, a two-seat, battery-powered little bugger. “Phenomenal” replaced the adjective used to describe the big dino-mobile.

Observing these two vehicles on the opposite ends of the spectrum, one can’t help but wonder which direction we’re headed when it comes to automobiles. Are we going green or are we sticking with go big or go home?

It’s difficult to imagine zipping around town in one of those tiny electric cars, not to mention the nightmare they could present to people like me, who can’t even remember to charge a cell phone. Can you imagine? “Sorry, can’t make it to work. Forgot to charge my car.”

But these things are money-savers. Imagine if you live in a city such as San Francisco, where monthly parking fees for cars are about $250. A Tango would fit in a motorcycle space, which costs about $50 a month.

It’s a bizarre little car where the passenger sits directly behind the driver, and it appears there is zero room for grocery bags. But according to the manufacturer, 90 percent of our trips involve only the driver.

Then there are these tricked out monsters such as the Velociraptor, gasoline-guzzling road hogs. At the SEMA show, these trucks appeared to generate more buzz than the little electric cars. After all, you can do all sorts of cool things with the trucks.

For example, a few exhibits down from the Velociraptor sat a steel trailer designed specifically for tailgating. This two-wheeled trailer has a barbecue on one end and two built-in coolers that happened to be full of ice-cold beer. This thing alone would squish the Tango.

Then there was the platform and tent that fits atop a Jeep with a ladder providing access, an impressive amenity that probably would amount to a disaster if combined with the beer-filled tailgating trailer.

I suppose the adventurous toy-lovers will stick with their trucks, and the more environmentally conscious motorists will Tango.

These little electric cars are designed for quick errands, not family vacations. But it is slightly troubling to envision these two vehicles sharing the road. Some of these trucks are so massive that hitting a Tango would be like passing over a speed bump.

Truck drivers wouldn’t even know what they hit until they had to pick the Tango out of their tire tread. Now, the Tango tread might be more impressive than, dare I say, a dinosaur-head axle ornament.

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