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I survived Obama — here’s how liberals can survive Trump

Liberals in California want to secede. Movie stars are singing “I Will Survive.” In Brooklyn, police took a Rutgers gender-studies professor to a psych ward because of his anti-Trump tweets.

The election of Donald Trump and his inauguration today as the 45th president of the United States has triggered a tsunami of leftist hysteria.

It’s time for an intervention.

If Trump’s inauguration has you on the verge of a meltdown, you need advice from someone who’s been there before. Someone who somehow survived for eight years under a president who enacted policies he strongly opposed.

Conservatives who endured the Obama administration without life support owe it to their liberal friends to hand down their survival guide. Our psych wards simply can’t handle every liberal professor in the country.


 


Breathe deeply and start with a comforting thought: You won’t have to test the limits of your social graces by meeting Trump. Over the next four years, though, you’re going to have thousands of interactions with your spouse, children, parents and friends. Your loved ones — and how you treat them — are more important than whoever the president happens to be.

Early in the Obama administration, I asked my beautiful bride to marry me. I’m not sure why she said “Yes,” but that one word has brought me more joy than any executive order John McCain or Mitt Romney ever could have issued.

Do you really want to decrease the importance of the president? Have a kid. A baby doesn’t care who the president is. After a few days of changing dirty diapers and sleep deprivation from midnight feedings, you’ll care less too. I tried it. It really works.

Trump and congressional Republicans are working on an economic agenda and a tax-reform plan. It’s going to have an impact on your finances. But you know what’s going to have an even bigger impact? Your choices. You don’t need congressional approval to change those.

Don’t wait for Bernie Sanders to turn into the Tooth Fairy and wand away your debts. Live below your means and pay them off.

I’m only in my thirties, but it seems like we’ve been having the most important election in our country’s history every two years since I was in the fourth grade. Scriptures like Psalm 146:3 help me maintain my perspective. “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” If you believe in God, teachings like that are a reminder that God is bigger than Trump and that He is not in the least bit surprised by what has happened — nor by whatever Trump tweets next.

If that’s not enough, remember this: Trump’s a lifelong liberal who already has forced many Republican leaders to abandon positions they’ve held for years. Trump’s much more likely to pass a Keynesian-inspired stimulus package or a job-killing minimum-wage increase than Hillary Clinton. Why? Because a Republican Congress will be eager to work with a Republican president, even if he proposes liberal ideas — ideas lawmakers would have opposed if Hillary Clinton were president.

What was the tune to “I Will Survive” again?

Victor Joecks’ column appears in the Nevada section each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Contact him at vjoecks@reviewjournal.com. Follow @victorjoecks on Twitter.

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