Drew Robinson still adjusting to second chance at life, baseball

It only felt like the first home run of his career.

“It’s been a couple months, and I still have no idea how to explain how good it felt,” the Las Vegas native and outfielder for the Sacramento River Cats in the San Francisco Giants organization said this weekend when he returned to his hometown to play for the first time since that memorable home run on May 11. “I hate ranking things, but that was by far the coolest experience of my life.

“Touching home plate, looking up and locking eyes with (my girlfriend) Daiana and my Dad and all the people who helped me get through the last year was goosebumps on steroids.”

The fact Robinson is even alive is amazing. His ability to still hit high-level pitching out of the park is almost unbelievable despite his struggles at the plate.

Robinson attempted suicide on April 16, 2020, which was first reported by ESPN. The incident cost the 29-year-old his right eye and set him forth on a journey of trying to serve as an advocate for mental health. But he was determined to not let it end his baseball career.

Childhood revisited

He had spent nearly a decade as a prospect in the Rangers and Cardinals organizations, accumulating 100 games at the major league level with those two franchises.

Robinson signed with the Giants shortly before the coronavirus pandemic shut down minor league baseball in 2020, a hiatus from the game that was at least part of the chain of events that led him to make that fateful decision.

Once he had physically recovered, and with minor league games returning, Robinson aimed on continuing his career while understanding the challenges he faced with only one eye.

It hasn’t been easy.

Robinson is hitting .145 in 31 games as a part-time player and has struck out 47 times in 76 at-bats, but has rediscovered a passion for the game that had worn him down so much over the past decade.

“Everything I’m doing this year feels like the first time,” he said. “Even though I’m not succeeding as much as I’d like, when I do have little bits of success, it’s like that kidlike love for the game again. Every time you did something for the first time as a kid, that’s kind of how I’m experiencing it now.”

The talent is still there. Six of his 11 hits have gone for extra bases, including three home runs. None of them as special as the first, which came in front of so many friends and family members who were just happy to see him on the field.

“I see him out there running around and it just reminds me of watching him in high school,” said Brian Whitaker, the second-winningest baseball coach in Nevada high school history, who coached Robinson at Silverado. “He plays hard and plays right.

”The baseball part is just a plus and when he figures it out, he’s got plenty of baseball left in him. But like everyone else, I’m just thankful he’s here. I love that kid and always have. What he’s doing is remarkable.”

Whitaker remains close with Robinson and has been a regular in the Las Vegas Ballpark stands when Robinson has been in town to play the Aviators. He was among Robinson’s first calls when he first got his phone back during his recovery last year.

“It instantly blew me away,” Whitaker said. “I immediately thought back and thought about if there was something I had missed or something I could have done. It was just so unexpected. He immediately put my mind at ease and said there was nothing anyone could have done. The way he speaks is amazing. He immediately said he’s meant to help people and there’s a reason he’s alive.”

That remains the most important mission for Robinson, who was seen throughout his life by those around him as popular, outgoing, funny and happy. His perception of how others viewed him was quite different and he has become an advocate for communication and honest dialogue about feelings and emotions.

It’s a massive task, especially for someone who still struggles at times with living up to a personal standard that was always going to be impossible to achieve.

“Because I put myself out there, every once in awhile I feel that pressure of perfectionism again,” he said. “Sometimes it weighs on me because I feel like I’m trying to do so much to help others when sometimes I lack myself so I question if I’m setting the right example.

“Finding that sweet spot in between knowing there is room to grow but also being OK with how hard I’m trying is a balancing act that is really important.”

Learning experiences

Robinson said he has learned it’s important to accept things for how they are and understand there will be difficult times just as there are good times.

The same goes for the grind of a baseball season, especially for someone learning on the fly how to play with vastly different eyesight.

“When I slow down and gather my thoughts and slow down, I can step back and process the journey for what it is,” he said. “I’m able to find that perspective that just being out there is so amazing for myself and my family and my doctors and everyone that’s been helping me this past year.

“I’m able to get there at times, but at times it’s hard to get there because I’m still trying my best to be a good baseball player.”

It helps to still have countless messages coming in every day on social media both from people offering encouraging words or those thanking him for sharing his story and letting them know they’re not alone. Robinson said he will read through them on tough days to find inspiration. It also helps to have a strong support system who now has a better understanding of what he is feeling.

His father, Darryl, knows his son still wants to succeed on the field and still believes he will, but knows that’s secondary.

“We just know that every day is a treasure,” an emotional Darryl Robinson said. “It’s amazing what he’s been able to do for other people and be so strong through it. And for us, he’s alive. That’s the bottom line, and that’s all that matters.”

Contact Adam Hill at ahill@reviewjournal.com. Follow @AdamHillLVRJ on Twitter.