When knuckleheads go wild

I know somebody who once ran onto the field at a major league baseball game. He’s really not that complicated.

In 1979 — during the Pre-Taser Era — my brother and his pals Dave and Mark (the father and uncle, respectively, of a major college basketball star) ran onto the field at old Comiskey Park after a game.

I think they did it because they are White Sox fans and this is what White Sox fans do (See: Disco Demolition Night). They think they did it because they had too many Old Styles and somebody on the grounds crew forgot to close the center-field gate when they were walking by.

My brother was on crutches and didn’t get far. One foot on the warning track, he says. His pal Dave also lost his nerve/came to his senses. His other pal Mark almost made it to where Chet Lemon played center field before he was hauled off by a group of Andy Frain ushers and a bigger group of Chicago’s Finest, which was never a pleasant experience, especially when Mayor Richard J. Daley was in charge and there was a convention in town.

Most guys carry the knucklehead gene, which occasionally is activated by drinking too much beer. Nine times out of 10, nobody gets hurt. One time out of 10, somebody else might get hurt, which is why you should never make light of being a knucklehead.

But nine times out of 10, that’s exactly what guys will do after committing gross acts of knuckleheadism. Especially if their kids are away at college.

THREE UP

■ WALKIN’ REBELS: Nearly 50 current or former UNLV athletes walked down the aisle Saturday to receive their degrees, including five current or former Rebels basketball players (Derrick Jasper, Chopper Jones, Darris Santee, Matt Shaw and Tre’Von Willis.) Say what you will about Lon Kruger not being able to recruit big men. At least his players go to class.

■ WHO’S ON THIRD?: This is a good time for Las Vegans who are fans of former Chicago Cubs third basemen. This weekend Vance Law was here with the Brigham Young baseball team, which he has coached for 12 years. Starting Tuesday, Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg will be at Cashman Field with the Iowa Cubs, whom he manages. Most people forget Sandberg was Chicago’s starting third baseman in 1982, his first year with the team. In a related note, I bumped into a guy at Albertson’s who looked a lot like Steve Ontiveros.

■ MINOR RECOGNITION: Minor league baseball enjoyed its second-largest April ever as 5,971,139 spectators filed through the turnstiles, 5,971,138 of whom refrained from running onto the field. (Actor Will Ferrell, in the guise of relief pitcher Billy Ray “Rojo” Johnson, was allowed onto the field to toss one pitch for the Triple-A Round Rock Express on Thursday to promote his golf tournament.)

THREE DOWN

■ SILVER (STATE) SLUGGERS: The second Silver State Diamond Challenge pitting the 51s against the Reno Aces began this week in Reno with the Aces winning three of four games. Last year, when the teams split their 16-game series, the mayors of the cities drew cards to determine the winner, dispelling the notion that pitching and defense wins championships.

■ COURTEOUS KYLE: The auto racing media says Kyle Busch has changed because he won a race in Virginia and was happy to talk about it. We’ll see how personable Busch is after he loses a race in Virginia — or one of the other states that has one.

■ SHOCKING NEWS: Getting stunned with a Thomas A. Swift Electronic Rifle doesn’t seem like a pleasant thought. But it you are a football coach starting a new job and 50,000 volts would deter you from being arrested for possessing a loaded handgun and wallet that don’t belong to you after you are denied entrance into a gentleman’s club, in retrospect, a Taser might not seem like a bad option. 

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352.