‘Road House,’ ‘Empire Strikes Back’ and other cable staples we can’t pass up

There should be a name for it, the 21st century phenomenon that takes place when you settle into your recliner or sprawl across the couch, TV remote in hand, working your way up and down the program guide — and suddenly stop when you stumble across a movie you’ve seen a hundred times but, for some reason, just can’t pass by.

The result: A few minutes, or a half-hour or an afternoon shot as you watch a movie you already know by heart, right through to the end, unable to turn away, as if your eyes were pulled to the screen by some sci-fi tractor beam.

Occasionally, the films that prompt Surprise Reflexive Until The End Movie-watching Syndrome — there we go! — are objectively good movies, and others not so much. Either way, it’s got to have something to do with a sincere affection for the movie at hand, be it masterpiece or cheesefest.

Here are a few we can’t skip:

Road House

When I catch a channel-surfing wave, it’s hard to slow me down. It usually means I’m in a state of existential apathy, with no appetite for anything but brainless micro-narratives: 20 seconds of Guy Fieri chomping pizza, hit the remote; 30 seconds of Jerry Orbach’s craggy charm on “Law & Order,” hit the remote; half a plot point on “NCIS: Wherever,” hit the remote. But I slam on the brakes when I see Kelly Lynch stitching up Patrick Swayze as he busts out the cheap Zen: “Pain don’t hurt.” I don’t know what it is about “Road House” that arrests my drift, re-engages my flagging interest. Maybe it’s the pure archetypal plot — a stranger comes to town — or its time-capsule machismo or Ben Gazzara chewing the script like the ripe cheese it is. Doesn’t matter at which point in the movie I tune in, I watch to the still-satisfying payoff when rough justice is served. Take that, Gazzara! The only thing that would make it better is Guy Fieri sharing some of that pizza. — Scott Dickensheets, R-J features editor

The Running Man

Two words: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whether it’s “Conan the Barbarian,” “True Lies” or — oh, why not? — “Kindergarten Cop,” the guy’s cinematic mojo is impossible to resist. But nowhere is Arnold’s meshing with moving art as perfect as in “The Running Man,” a 1987 action film that places him as a framed cop forced to be a contestant in a futuristic society’s kill-or-be-killed game show. Arnold’s good, but what’s awesome is how this cinematic cheesefest just screams 1980s-1990s excess. Richard Dawson as an unctuous game show host. A synth-heavy soundtrack and Spandex-clad dancers right out of “Solid Gold,” with choreography by Paula Abdul. Dweezil Zappa and Mick Fleetwood as co-stars. A story based (loosely) on a novella by Stephen King during his “Richard Bachman” days. It’s even directed by Paul Michael Glaser, “Starsky” from “Starsky & Hutch” (who actually became a pretty accomplished director). Amazing stuff all around. — John Przybys, retired R-J features writer

The Big Lebowski

The Dude abides, and so do we any time “The Big Lebowski” happens upon a TV screen within view, its rug-soiling laughs and foul-mouthed philosophizing mixing like milk and Kahlua. What makes this kidnapping caper/comedy of errors/Iliad-of-bowling so compulsively watchable? Well, for certain sensibilities, “Lebowski” is a natural mood enhancer, cinematic Zoloft, its central character Jeffrey Lebowski — or “El Duderino” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing — a modern-day, stoner Buddha of sorts, navigating this crazy world with beverage in hand, offering solace in swear words and soaked marmots. And we’re not alone in our fanaticism: “The Big Lebowski” has inspired fan conventions (the annual Lebowski Fest), over a dozen books (“The Tao of the Dude;” The Abide Guide,” etc. ), even its own religion (Dudeism, naturally). True devotees of the Cohen brothers’ classic can speak in a kind of Lebowski-ese, suitable for any occasion. (The boss doesn’t like the entry you wrote for a story on must-watch movies? “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”) Also, do try and catch the edited-for-basic-cable version of this f-bomb heavy masterpiece at some point, as it boasts some of the most awesomely awful/brilliant dubbing ever. (“Do you see what happens, Larry, when you find a stranger in the Alps?!”). What? After all this, you still don’t get it? Obviously you’re not a golfer. — Jason Bracelin, R-J staff writer

The Shawshank Redemption, The Silence of the Lambs

“The Shawshank Redemption” and “The Silence of the Lambs” will both take over my day if I stumble upon them while channel surfing. Morgan Freeman narrating the story of a prison break? Anthony Hopkins’ chilling plans for fava beans and a nice Chianti? Come on, they’re irresistible. — Alexis Ford, R-J digital content producer

The Empire Strikes Back

I don’t care if I catch “The Empire Strikes Back” when Luke is asking his tauntaun if she smells something. I don’t care if I catch it when C-3PO is accusing R2-D2 of having delusions of grandeur. And I don’t care if I catch it at any point in between. I put the remote down. I saw this film for the first time when I was 9 years old, after waiting in a line that wound multiple times around the theater. I have seen it countless times since, before and after the “Special Edition” modifications. And even now, its grand themes and silly subplots pull me in like a tractor beam. I am instantly 9 years old again. — Paul Pearson, R-J news producer

For a Few Dollars More

This classic Western starring Clint Eastwood airs occasionally on Grit TV and other far-flung channels. Every time it’s on, I can’t wait for the double-twist ending. The film appears to be over when Eastwood saves Lee Van Cleef’s life in a showdown with Mexican criminal El Indio (thank you, music box). But the part I enjoy best happens when, after the gunslingers depart, Eastwood counts the bodies from the shootout to collect the bounty. Just when Eastwood figures out there’s a body missing, he swings around and shoots dead the final gang member, who somehow had escaped the carnage. From a distance, Van Cleef asks Eastwood if he’s OK. Eastwood says he’s fine and only had trouble with his math as he stuffs the final body with the others into his wagon. Then he grabs a money bag from a tree and rides into the sunset. Van Cleef is seen smiling at the end, and so am I. — Mark Davis, R-J digital news editor

Speed

So I recently sat through “Speed,” which I’ve seen a number of times. Terrible movie: unbelievable plot, overacting Dennis Hopper, underacting Keanu Reeves and annoying Sandra Bullock. But is it so bad that it’s good? I also recently watched “The Proposal,” not the best rom-com, but Betty White as Grandma Annie was hysterical. Again, I’ve seen it several times. It must have been Sandra Bullock week because I also sat through “The Blind Side,” which I find very inspiring. A little bit of trivia that I just found out: Lily Collins of “Emily in Paris” fame plays the daughter in “Blind Side.” — Jenny Scheid, R-J special sections editor

The Replacements

Movies about football make up a surprisingly rich vein of cinema. “Brian’s Song.” “The Longest Yard.” “North Dallas Forty.” “Draft Day.” And, of course, “The Replacements,” a 2000 comedy inspired by the also-ran and never-were pro football wannabees who, thanks to the 1987 NFL players strike, got the brief chance to follow their dreams. Gene Hackman is perfect as the unorthodox coach of the Washington Sentinels who assembles a squad of quirky underdogs, while Keanu Reeves’ redemption-seeking quarterback is a hero-in-the-making worth rooting for. There are some great lines (“He’s woiry!”) and a sweet, feel-good ending. And, for whatever it’s worth: If the Football Team Formerly Known As The Washington Redskins had renamed themselves the Sentinels and on opening day immediately retired Shane Falco’s jersey, their fan base would’ve been huge. — John Przybys, retired R-J features writer

Shooter

My inability to click past this dog — its 47 percent Rotten Tomatoes rating seems high — time after time (is it on every week?) is a source of much amusement to my family. “Again?” they laugh. Objectively, it’s got a single minor virtue: Levon Helm as a wizened firearms expert living in the hollers of Tennessee, who dispenses ballistic savvy and cheap wisdom — “The world is not always as it seems, is it, son?” — like a gnarled backwoods oracle. Luckily for my moral compass, Mark Wahlburg is so woodenly unbelievable in his starring role that his righteous violence comes off more like a cartoon than problem-solving. And I like cartoons, so, yes, again. — Scott Dickensheets, features editor

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

My wife and I will cease surfing when we happen upon “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.” We both have the inflection and tone down for the Grail Knight in the film’s final reel who says, “He chose … poorly,” when bad guy Walter Donovan drinks from the false grail, ages and turns to dust, and “He chose … wisely,” when Indy drinks from the true grail and takes it to his dying father. Whenever we talk about making decisions, we’ll look at each other and say either, “He chose … poorly,” or “He chose … wisely.” — Richard Velotta, R-J assistant business editor

Julie and Julia, Aliens

It goes without saying I watch nearly every “Star Trek” movie to the end (yes, I know they save Spock, but it’s the way they save him that’s the point!). But there are other, more terrestrial movies I always tend to watch no matter where I come into them. “Julie and Julia,” the time-traveling juxtaposition of the classic chef and her modern superfan is one. “The Devil Wears Prada,” is another, although not, as some of my reporters would suggest, for employee-relations tips. And, of course, what some may argue is the best sequel of all time, “Aliens.” Ripley in the power loader versus the alien queen never misses. — Steve Sebelius, politics and government editor