18 TV stars who could serve as part of an Oprah presidency

Las Vegas Review-Journal

6 years ago

Oprah Winfrey accepts the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Sunday, Jan. 7, 2018. (Paul Drinkwater/NBC via AP)

Danny Koker stars in History’s “Counting Cars.” (Photo by Smallz & Raskind)

Howie Mandel of America’s Got Talent (Trae Patton/NBC)

Tara Reid and TMZ chief Harvey Levin at the Aug. 29 launch of TMZ slots at the Hard Rock Hotel. (Edison Graf for Kabik Photo Group)

Rick Harrison attends the artist Tim Cantor’s exhibition opening at the AFA Gallery in the Fashion Show Mall in Las Vegas on Saturday, Oct. 1, 2016. Loren Townsley/Las Vegas Review-Journal Follow @lorentownsley

An Oprah presidency (Wesley Rand Las Vegas Review-Journal)

Talk show host Jerry Springer poses for a photo with a fan before the start of the third day of the Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center on Wednesday, July 27, 2016, in Philadelphia. Benjamin Hager/Las Vegas Review-Journal

Patti and Cliff Roberts met Dr. Mehmet Oz at O Magazine’s O You! conference in Atlanta. The term cyberchondria is a digital age version of hypochondria. Patti Roberts says an episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” featuring Dr. Oz, helped save her husband’s life. (CNN)

In this Oct. 14, 2014, file photo, Jonathan Scott, left, and Drew Scott, of HGTV’s “Property Brothers” cable television show, mimic traders as they visit the post that handles Scripps Networks Interactive, on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, after ringing the opening bell. Discovery Communications is buying media company Scripps Networks Interactive Inc. (Richard Drew/AP file)

FILE – In this Oct. 13, 2016, file photo, Ellen Degeneres appears during a commercial break at a taping of “The Ellen Show” in Burbank. DeGeneres is known for keeping her comedy on the nice side. But she lets her inner meanie out for “Ellen’s Game of Games.(AP Photo/Andrew Harnik, File)

Ryan Seacrest speaks onstage during the 2017 iHeartRadio Music Festival at T-Mobile Arena on September 22, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

After Oprah Winfrey’s soaring Golden Globes speech, deciding whether she’d want to subject herself to running for the presidency is the hard part. Assembling an administration? That would be a piece of Rachael Ray-baked cake.

To fill most of the prominent roles, Winfrey would have to search no farther than her TV, which I’ve always imagined is swaddled in cashmere, emits pleasing aromas based on her moods and is roughly the size of a football field.

To get an idea of what a President Winfrey administration could look like — after she declares, “You get an appointment! And you get an appointment!” — here are some TV personalities who could fit the bill:

Vice President: Any Kardashian

Pretty much any member of the extended family would bring out the youth vote. Plus, they’re accustomed to having few if any responsibilities.

Chief of Staff: Stedman Graham

He’s basically already doing the job.

Press Secretary: Gayle King

Ditto.

FBI Director: Harvey Levin

The TMZ founder can dig up dirt on anyone — and probably already has.

National Security Advisor: Jerry Springer

He’s seen more violence, and knows more about what triggers it, than just about anyone.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Maury Povich

Say what you will, but the man knows his way around a paternity test.

Surgeon General: Dr. Oz

Just try to get him to stop giving out health advice. No, really. Please try.

Secretary of Getting Real: Dr. Phil

It isn’t an actual Cabinet position, just like he isn’t an actual doctor.

Secretary of State: Rick Harrison

Ask anyone who’s ever tried to get an extra dollar out of him, the “Pawn Stars” star is one of the toughest negotiators around.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: The Property Brothers

Section 8 housing would be fabulous and, based on their Las Vegas home, probably would have far more waterslides.

Secretary of Transportation: Danny “The Count” Koker

When Winfrey kicks off her presidency by giving every American a car, the “Counting Cars” host will be in charge of tricking them out.

Secretary of Education: The Count from “Sesame Street”

Yes, he’s a puppet. But he’s taught millions of children over the years. That automatically makes him more qualified than some who’ve held this post.

UN Ambassador: Ellen DeGeneres

The next time the ambassadors from, say, North Korea or Iran get out of hand, all she’d have to do is cue up some music. There aren’t many problems so great they can’t be solved by shaking your hips.

Secretary of the Interior: Bear Grylls

Few love the outdoors more than he does. Fewer still know which animals’ waste you can consume in order to survive, should that need ever arise.

Secretary of Defense: Dog the Bounty Hunter

He may not make the country any safer, but at least he’d track down the bad guys if they ever skip bail.

Secretary of Labor: Ryan Seacrest

The man has a zillion jobs. He must know something about working.

Secretary of the Treasury: Howie Mandel

It’s been awhile, but he worked with a banker and briefcases full of money for five years on “Deal or No Deal.” He’ll also soon have a special relationship with the royal family, thanks to former briefcase model Meghan Markle.

Attorney General: Judge Judy

It’s more than a little surprising she isn’t already in office.