Tahiti Joe’s

In case you haven't heard, the tiki bar is back.

Trader Vic's, that legendary icon of all things tiki since, believe it or not, 1934, is opening new locations, including one right here in Our Fair City this fall, and that's just one of the flurries in the forecast. If the prognosticators are right -- and they usually are -- we're going to be drinking a lot more umbrella drinks while surrounded by boatloads of bamboo and towering tribal masks.

And so it seemed like a good time to review Tahiti Joe's. Tahiti Joe's, which opened this summer at Tahiti Village on the way, way south end of Las Vegas Boulevard (near what old-timers still call the Belz Mall), was a bit ahead of the wave, although the Tahiti Village connection makes it a natural, so maybe the timing was just fortuitous.

Tahiti Village is a time-share resort, which gives Tahiti Joe's a sort of built-in (or maybe captive) clientele, as evidenced by the "owner's night" special offered on the evening of our visit. It's not the kind of place we often choose for a review, but see paragraph No. 1 above, and besides, the PR campaign that surrounded its opening was an indicator that non-time-sharers were welcome, and even sought. More on that later.

But to get to the point: Tahiti Joe's is upstairs over a Denny's, and I think that says a lot.

Not that the kitchen doesn't occasionally show flashes of, if not brilliance, at least skill. But there were too many unexplainable lapses to overlook.

Like the rice. Years of experience in this gig have taught me not to go out on a limb and say something isn't what it's billed to be unless I have incontrovertible proof, but if the rice served with one of our entrees was jasmine rice, as we were offered, then I'll eat a live octopus. Jasmine rice has a subtle flavor and an aroma that's far less so, and very recognizable. That the rice (two scoops, which is overkill but in keeping with those carb-lovin' islanders) was served completely unadorned made it easier to clearly identify as plain ol' long-grain. It was fine, but the apparent deception -- whatever the reason -- was silly, and irritating to boot.

The rice -- a baked potato is the other choice -- was on a plate of mahi-mahi with macadamia-nut crust ($18.95), which wasn't bad, as mahi goes, but extremely light on the macadamias. The mixed vegetables served on the side were bland and characterized by an overabundance of waffle-cut carrots.

On the other hand, the sesame beef option of Todd's Surf's Up Satay Sticks ($7.95; other options are shrimp and chicken) were very good. I didn't detect any sesame in the form of either seeds or oil, and the meat had been cut much thicker than the customary satay, but it was tender enough, and the sauce and marinade had a nice kick, tempered just slightly by the peanut-lime sauce we chose on the side (teriyaki or sweet chili being the other options). And the beef was served atop crisp-fried rice noodles and a sort of salad/slaw, which were nice touches and would have rendered this a complete meal for a light eater.

Our other starter had similarly nice touches. Joe's Spring Chicken Rolls ($7.95) were served atop a mound of shredded cabbage that was in turn topped with a flavorful relish of sorts, which contained diced mango, sweet red pepper and more. So that doesn't explain why the rolls themselves had a manufactured quality that wasn't enhanced by the fact that they'd spent too long in the fryer.

Our other entree was Grand Palapa Pork Ribs ($14.95 for a half-rack, which we had, or $21.95 for the large, "Dino" size), with a sauce billed as a "homemade Chinese BBQ sauce," but that tasted more like your basic supermarket brand. Chinese barbecue is characterized by a complex blend of flavors that includes star anise, hoisin and ginger, none of which we could detect in this sauce. And the ribs themselves were soggy, as though they'd been parboiled instead of being grilled. Same lackluster vegetables as with our other entree, but the baked potato we had with this one was the highlight of the meal, fluffy and topped with wild abandon.

We skipped dessert.

The decor of the place really is pretty cool, with the requisite overload of bamboo, bamboolike chairs and a big tiki god behind the bar.

Service from our extremely earnest waiter was good throughout, though our entrees were a little long in coming from the kitchen. And while there was a wine list of sorts on the table, when we ordered glasses of wine, our waiter said that had to be handled by a cocktail waitress, which seemed rather odd. We're not sure if there was a communication breakdown or what, but she and the wine both were a long time coming.

There were a few other inexplicable things. For example, all sides are priced at $2.95, including Hula Hoopa King's Rings, seasoned fries and shoestring fries. But if you order a burger, either of the fries are included, but you'll pay 95 cents extra for the rings. What's up with that?

And we noticed, toward the end of our dinner, an impressive view of the valley's lights coming to life through a glass door on one side of the dining room. But the windows next to the door were heavily shuttered. Location, location, location, folks.

Oh, and the live music. I'm not a music critic, so I'm not going to get into this, but I will say that if the notoriously peevish Van Morrison should return to Las Vegas, it'd be best to keep him away from these guys, lest bloodshed ensue.

PR firms would be well advised to be careful what they ask for. Tahiti Joe's would be a nice spot to stop for a drink, especially if you're into the tiki thing. But we'll leave the food to the time-sharers.

Las Vegas Review-Journal reviews are done anonymously at Review-Journal expense. Contact Heidi Knapp Rinella at 383-0474 or e-mail her at hrinella@ reviewjournal.com.