Matt Goss and ‘X Burlesque

George Wallace's ubiquitous billboards for "Best 10 p.m. show" used to be funnier because most of the competition landed around him, earlier or later.

Now a lot of titles go up against the comedian; everyone's too afraid of the nightclubs to start much later. Two shows, singer Matt Goss and the durable "X Burlesque," preserve the late-night spirit of the old Vegas in cozy settings and use sex as a weapon.

Matt Goss

On Goss' opening night at Caesars Palace, they passed out drinks that tasted like Jolly Rancher hard candy melted into a martini glass. Perfect metaphor, it turns out.

Goss is a devilishly handsome British singer who dresses vintage for a retro-styled lounge show (albeit one with a $40 ticket). Sounds basic, but it's really a niche if you notice how many headliners out there are stand-up comics.

Cool look. Smooth voice. Snappy arrangements that kept a three-piece horn section sizzling on a "Hotel California" gone ska.

Better still, it all unfolds amid the shagadelic charm of a curtained-off Cleopatra's Barge at Caesars Palace, the one piece of the old Caesars that escaped a '90s-bland makeover.

But was this just a dress-up party? As Cole Porter would ask, is it the good turtle soup or merely the mock?

This is where it gets complicated. Goss doesn't just do the standards. He adds his own songwriting, stemming from his '80s run as a British pop star. "If you feel any of these lyrics, feel free to raise a glass," he tells the crowd.

So you're supposed to take him seriously as a singer-songwriter and owner of a lonely heart (after a breakup with Daisy Fuentes) while you're sipping your Jolly Rancher while you're looking at a quartet of sexy dancers kept in constant undulation by Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin.

It's all way overrehearsed for such a little room. There's nothing to let the show breathe, and anything original about Goss gets lost amid the affectation. "Just For A Change" intrigues us at the start with its stripped-down intro. But it ends with, no kidding, the dancing girls in drum majorette hats.

I would say we get it without being steered by James Bond clips or Frank Sinatra on a rear screen when Goss sings "Luck Be A Lady." But Goss and Antin are aiming for a young crowd, one used to everything in a martini glass except a real martini.

And to bum-rap a lounge show for creating a false sense of euphoria would be to take Wayne Newton to task for not being Leonard Cohen. Beggars can't be choosers when we're begging for anything that longs for an old-Vegas aesthetic.

Celebrate the superficial. Drink up and be happy someone is doing this.

'X Burlesque'

There's a moment in the Flamingo Las Vegas' "X Burlesque" where producer Angela Stabile beats Goss and Antin at their own '60s-cool game.

Shakeera Onstead struts the stage to a cheeky British hit called "Would You ...?" by Touch and Go. "I've noticed you around ... I find you very attractive," she matter-of-factly lip-syncs to the projected words before the kicker, "Would you go to bed with me?" explodes into retro jubilation.

But Las Vegas topless shows are democratic and so must include Aerosmith's "Pink" and Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch." No problem, because the stunning Shakeera has a sister, Meeka. What are the odds?

There's no traditional "burlesque" in "X Burlesque," but you do get 10 minutes of work-the-crowd comedy from either Nancy Ryan or James Bean. On this night, Bean (who is black) read an alternative Tiger Woods apology that included, "All the women I slept with were white. ... That must count for something."

"X Burlesque" throws itself a party each year to celebrate a new edition in Bugsy's Cabaret, even if the changes come in the dispensable numbers and not the memorable keystones, such as two women in a bath or three on a futon.

Yes, this is a very naughty show compared to the more wholesome "Fantasy" or "Peepshow." But it's all done with wit and over the years has learned -- take notes, Matt Goss -- it's easier to be cool when you're not trying so hard.

Contact reporter Mike Weatherford at mweatherford@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0288.