Diva Death Match: Lauryn Hill, Stevie Nicks battle for songstress supremacy

Divas are like roosters: You put two of them in the same room, and they will fight each other to the death.

Actually, we don't really know if that's true.

But it's fun to imagine as much, right?

This is what we do in our spare time, you know, when the power goes out.

And with two awesomely eccentric divas in town this week, the velvet-voiced Ms. Lauryn Hill and the original witchy woman Stevie Nicks, we thought we'd pit the two against one another via a variety of qualifications (crazy ass antics, lunacy quotient, etc.) in a battle of true prima donna supremacy.

Who will come out on top?

Namely, you the reader.

Here we go:

Outlandish Behavior

Now in her 60s, Nicks has chilled out considerably in her older age, but back in the day, she could party way harder than you.

By her own admission, Nicks did so much coke in the '70s, she could actually stay awake during Jethro Tull records.

As for Hill, she's keeping it real -- real freakin' batty.

She's like a hip-hop/R&B Axl Rose, sans the cornrows and plastic face.

To wit: She seemingly delights in making her fans wait excruciating lengths of time before taking the stage.

At a festival gig in the D.C. area, Hill showed up three hours late, allegedly because she was busy getting a pedicure.

At a New York city show last December, Hill joined her band after midnight for a show scheduled to start at 8:30 p.m.

"I spent my entire 20s sacrificing my life to give you love. So when I hear people complain, I don't know what to tell you," she told the booing crowd, according to a story in The New York Times. "I personally know I'm worth the wait."

Advantage: Hill

Punch Line Factor

Nicks has long been goofed on for her distinctive, quavering singing voice, which at times is suggestive of a hiccuping goat traversing a pothole-strewn road in the back of a shock absorbers-less pickup during a violent earthquake.

In an episode of "South Park" from a few years back, Nicks was caricatured as the lovable barnyard animal.

Not to be outdone, Hill has earned her fair share of ridicule for bursting out in tears during an "MTV Unplugged" taping, cracking on the Vatican and generally having a nuttier constitution than a squirrel's snack habits.

Advantage: Hill

Outlandish Attire

You would think Nicks would have this one in the bank, right? What with her flowing gypsy gowns and compulsion for chiffon that rivals a fly's lust for cow chips.

But Hill has been coming on hard -- especially on the eyes -- most notably during an appearance at the Sundance film fest earlier in the year, where she performed in a Michelin Man-puffy fur coat that looked as if it were fashioned from the hide of a corpulent glam rock yeti.

The thing was gaudy enough to make a pimp and/or Deion Sanders blush.

Advantage: Nicks

Celebrity Fans

Michelle Obama reportedly has Hill on her iPod, which is kind of cool, but negated by the fact that John McCain is allegedly a fan, according to McCain's daughter, Meghan.

Seriously?

McCain is more square than your average polygon.

Nicks counts fellow fiery femmes as Courtney Love, Taylor Swift and the Dixie Chicks among her many admirers.

Hey, at least they have a pulse.

Advantage: Nicks

Winner

It's a dead heat.

And fittingly so.

When it comes to these two larger-than-life ladies, the only losers here are subtlety and restraint.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476.