Britney Spears gets a rise out of Pauly D

Class, all class -- that Pauly D and Britney Spears.

Last week, Pauly D (the nice one from "Jersey Shore" with the glue hair) opened for Britney Spears in Montreal, where she pulled him onstage and gave him a lap dance.

A few days later, on Saturday, Pauly D showed up at the Palms hotel to DJ at a lingerie masquerade party at the pool, where he described the Britney moment -- a story of national importance, since that's how our nation rolls in 2011.

"It was the best day of my life," Pauly D said. "I'm, like, 'Is Britney Spears really giving me a lap dance right now?' I couldn't get my phone fast enough to put it on Twitter."

I asked the tumescence question: "I don't know how to put this," I said. "Did you get, uh ..."

Pauly D caught my drift.

"I did!" he said. "That's what the smile was from. I can't help it."

It wasn't his first lap dance of 2011, but it was his best, he said.

Since I had Pauly D in front of me, I took the opportunity to get his confirmation on a twisted story I reported recently: A source told me that at a fancy restaurant in Vegas, Pauly D was eating with pals when a woman in their purview withdrew a breast, lactated into an espresso and failed to convince others to drink it.

"That was the weirdest thing, man!" Pauly D said. "I'm ruined now for the rest of my life. I'm like, 'Is this going on right now?' ... We still talk about that. 'Remember that girl with the breast milk?'

"Only in Vegas that would happen."

Well, I could also see that happening on "Jersey Shore." Or on "Family Guy," "South Park," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" or ...

Oh, let's face it. Vegas doesn't have the market cornered on contemporary Americana folk comedy.

THE ONUS OF JONAS

Joe Jonas -- who also happens to be a native from the Jersey shore, but who is a Disney star/evangelical Christian -- partied at club Haze Saturday night to promote his new solo album, "Fastlife."

I know, right?

Anyway, Jonas on Saturday was just a few days away from touring with Britney in Europe. So I left Pauly D's Palms party to go chat with Jonas at club Haze at 1 a.m.

A female Vegas clubber who was standing 2 feet away from Jonas (she came just to see him) sized him up and exclaimed: "He looks like a little Mormon Elvis."

Jonas told a few of us entertainment writers he expected the Britney tour to be fun and awesome, since he's a longtime fan and she's an impressive hard worker.

But Jonas is no Pauly D. A religious fella, Jonas and his band of brothers famously wore "purity rings" and claimed to be virginites. So I asked him about Britney's potential lap dance viability:

"Are you prepared for Britney to do what she did with Pauly D?"

"I think I know what you're talking about," Jonas said and laughed. "Who knows. We'll see, I guess, right?"

This was Jonas' second trip to a Vegas club appearance within a few months. (He turned 22 on Monday.)

"Is this an image change?" I asked

"It's not necessarily an image change," he said. "I think for us -- me and my brothers -- we always created music that spoke from our hearts.

"And now I'm kind of going the solo route (with) a coming-of-age record. I wanted to be able to present it to people a little bit my age and a little bit older. And club music fits perfectly."

His weekend visit here "could be an all-nighter," he said.

He had earlier gone with his pals to the blackjack tables, before arriving at Haze. But when I asked him to tell me a good previous Vegas story, he balked.

"We've had a lot of fun. Good memories. Don't want to get too deep."

Before this interview, Jonas' handlers said Jonas wouldn't answer personal questions, meaning no questions on his celebrity breakups. (Ashley Greene from "Twilight," Taylor Swift, etc.)

But musicians sing about their personal lives sometimes, so People magazine's Mark Gray slyly asked Jonas if his new record would cover themes of love and lost love. Jonas slicked his way out of this line of questioning.

He said his new album is about "everything from the good and bad of relationships that a lot of people pull from. Fans. Touring. Fun. Where I am in my life now."

"Where I am in my life now" at that moment was in a Vegas nightclub where, one presumes, it is difficult to find a wearer of a purity ring. Not that I'm judging. Purity rings are for children.

Doug Elfman's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Contact him at delfman@reviewjournal. com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.