Comedian calls media eye harsh

Country comedian Rodney Carrington is the king of funny songs about the male appendage. As an expert on the subject, he declares ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner to be "pervert-y."

But he says other perverty Americans wouldn't fare any better if the media kept an eye on them.

"Think of the one time in your life where you go, 'God I'm so glad nobody knows nothin' about that.' And then think of a whole bunch of (your indiscretions), and then condense them down into a two-hour special, and run it on CNN -- and see how you hold up in the public eye."

It's the same thing with Tiger Woods, he says. No one could have expected the billionaire golfer to say "no" to a beautiful woman propositioning, 'You want to take a look at my (thing)?' "

"I don't think the pope could have withstood what Tiger or Weiner" were offered, says Carrington (performing tonight-Saturday at The Mirage).

Carrington, happily married, shares Tiger's love of golf, especially at Vegas' TPC Summerlin and Shadow Creek -- which is "probably my favorite place to play in the country" because it looks like Georgia and is amazingly secluded.

"When you get there, there's nobody there. It's like 'The Shining.' "

But Carrington jokes he golfs worse than Charles Barkley.

"If I was told tomorrow that I was gonna play golf for a living, I'd have to break the bad news to my family that we were gonna have to move and look for dinner in a Dumpster."

CLUB PLANS, IN ORDER
OF GOOD OR NEW

TONIGHT: Dragonette performs electro-pop hit "Hello" at Bank. ... Diplo spins at Rain. ... The DJs at Marquee are EC Twins and Josh Madden. ... Nina Sky performs at Jet. ... Actress Vanessa Minnillo's bachelorette party is at Lavo. ... Khloe Kardashian's birthday bash is at Chateau. ... SATURDAY: Paul Oakenfold spins at Rain. ... Cosmic Gate DJs at Marquee. ... Serge Devant DJs at Marquee DayClub. ... Chingy performs at Gallery. ... Nas raps at Chateau. ... Vegas' electro-poppers Afghan Raiders play Savile Row at Luxor. ... Jeremih performs at Haze. ... Josh Madden DJs at Tao Beach. ... Carmelo Anthony and wife LaLa Vazquez do Tao. ... "Real Housewives" Taylor Armstrong is at Liquid pool. ... Heidi Montag hosts Wet Republic. ... Vanilla Ice performs at LAX. ... SUNDAY: Gabriel & Dresden DJ at Tao Beach. ... The official Miss USA after party is at Chateau.

Doug Elfman's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Contact him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.