99 Words About … The bungling of Lifetime’s ‘Client List’

Jennifer Love Hewitt. In lingerie. Handing out happy endings.

How do you make that boring?

Leave it to Lifetime.

"The Client List" (10 p.m. Sunday) -- about a massage therapist giving "extras" to make ends meet -- could have been a gritty look at sex workers.

With Hewitt forever threatening to spill out of her wardrobe, it could have given straight guys their first reason to watch Lifetime.

Instead, it's a lame, tame bait-and-switch that glosses over the illegalities so Hewitt can spend time fixing her clients' romantic lives.

Think "The Perv Whisperer."

And expect to be rubbed the wrong way.

-- CHRISTOPHER LAWRENCE