Willem Dafoe shares his best piece of life advice
The best life advice Willem Dafoe has ever received? “My wife has always told me, ‘Don’t spit on your luck,’ ” the 68-year-old actor says. “It’s like a mantra to her.”
What does this mean exactly?
“It’s a useful reminder because I have one of those minds that always figures out the worst possible scenario and accepts it, so anything above that is just gravy,” he explains. “You carry too much negativity. Not spitting on your luck is a reminder to stay positive, which is a good way to live.”
His lucky streak in Hollywood seems endless. Dafoe has earned four Academy Award nominations and appeared in scads of classic films, including “Platoon,” “The Last Temptation of Christ” and “Mississippi Burning.”
His latest is the surreal theatrical release “Kinds of Kindness,” a comedy anthology directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and also starring Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Margaret Qualley and Joe Alwyn. It revolves around three distinct but loosely connected stories. Dafoe plays a controlling boss and a cult leader, among other things.
Hailing from Appleton, Wisconsin, Dafoe was the sixth of seven kids born to a doctor and a nurse. He took a break from college to join an experimental theater group and never looked back.
“I still love acting because it’s still mysterious to me,” he shares. “It’s exciting in life to keep unraveling the layers of things.”
Dafoe is married to film director, screenwriter and actor Giada Colagrande. They split their time between her native Italy and New York City.
His good life tips:
Keep it interesting
Dafoe says that the lure of “Kinds of Kindness” was working again with Lanthimos, who also directed him in “Poor Things.” “I love that he gives me interesting things to do,” the actor says. “This film is the kind of film I would love to watch. It allows the audience to make the movie their own movie based on the personal experiences that they bring to it. It’s such rich and deep material that different people will see and feel different things.”
Celebrate the odd
Dafoe chuckles when asked about his penchant for playing weird characters. “Weirdness is not my game in real life,” he insists. “I’m just a square boy from Wisconsin.”
Wide-open spaces
Dafoe speaks fondly of his Wisconsin childhood. “My family was large and very chaotic, but there was a freedom in having parents who worked a lot of hours. I was trusted to make good choices, and I did. Plus, there was the joy of growing up in the country with big fields. There was room to breathe and imagine, which fed my creativity.”
Find your joy
Dafoe remembers going to movie theaters as a kid, where the huge screen was the ultimate lure. “I just loved the movies. If you asked me to go to a movie, it was a yes no matter what movie was showing,” he says. It was only natural that the acting bug bit, and he ended up studying drama at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. “There were so many of us kids that my parents were fine with a few of us going the creative route,” he adds.
Relinquish control
“At this age, the freedom comes with giving up control. When you’re younger that’s a hard one. I think about creative control. But there is also the idea of giving up some of your controlling ways about life. You can just live your life. Allow things to evolve.”
Seek the best work
Dafoe says he has never been motivated by money. “Good work breeds good work and opportunities no matter what you’re doing,” he says. “You try to do the best work, and sometimes the best-paying jobs aren’t the best work. Sometimes the poorer paying ones are.”
Feeling good
Dafoe is a major proponent of organic eating and practices Ashtanga yoga to keep his body and mind in good shape. “Yoga probably saves me,” he says. “It’s also a way to keep your body fit and flexible. Plus, it calms me down” he says. Other ways he resets? “Jump in the tub. Get out that book you’ve meant to read. Go see a movie. All things that combat stress are right there,” he says.
Keep it fresh
“I try to approach everything like it’s the first time I’ve ever done it. Don’t allow tasks to become too familiar. The key is to seek out new adventures and stay out of your comfort zone.”
Live in the moment
“I tell young actors, ‘Don’t do this to get that. Be where you are and find pleasure and value in what you are doing today. That will take you to the next step.’ ”
Keep pushing
Dafoe says that doing several movies a year still suits him just fine. Between films, he gets antsy. “I’m like a child that wants candy,” he says. “It’s important to keep doing what you love … no matter what age.”
Fret less
“I think the beautiful part of getting older is that you finally learn how to let go,” Dafoe says. “You’re not that young guy anymore, and that’s fine. I worry about stuff less at this age, which is amazing. It’s great to lose the doubt.”
