Baby, It’s Hot Outside

We always feel sorry for ourselves around this time of year.

It's too hot. It's too muggy. It's too dry. Summer lasts way too long.

Waahh. Boohoo. Sniffle, cough.

It's then that, as dedicated followers of the "you never know how good you've got it until you get a glimpse of someone else's hell" school of thought, we fire up the computer and pull out that multicolored map on the daily weather page.

Then, as we relax in our air-conditioned homes (rest in peace, Willis Haviland Carrier, the father of modern air conditioning) sipping a refreshing Arnold Palmer (equal parts iced tea and lemonade and the most pure example of beverage synergy since the gin and tonic), we think of where we might otherwise be.

And, we once again realize, Las Vegas isn't such a bad place to spend a summer.

Sure, it's not Honolulu, where temperatures hover in the balmy 80s year-round. But we would rather be here right now than, say, just about anywhere in the Middle East.

A few hits on Google reveal that, on a single day recently, it was 106 degrees in Damascus, Syria; 113 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; 119 in Baghdad; and 120 in Kuwait City, Kuwait.

To paraphrase late genius comedian Richard Jeni: 120 degrees isn't weather, it's a science experiment.

(By the way, 119 degrees is particularly nasty if you're a U.S. soldier who's carting around 80-plus pounds of combat gear. Yet another reason for caution in a dangerous place.)

Anyway, to put those Middle Eastern temps into perspective, figure that daily average highs in Las Vegas top out at about 106 in July and just more than 103 in August.

There. Don't you feel cooler already?

Nor do we have to go overseas to discover places that make our summertime temperatures almost bearable. Just hop into the car -- air conditioned, naturally -- and cruise to Death Valley, where average daily highs hit 115 in July and 113 in August.

Of course, that's nothing compared to Death Valley's highest high: An eyeball-melting 134 degrees, recorded in July 1913.

A quick trip to Arizona will take you into temperatures a bit less comfortable than those we endure each summer. For instance, Yuma, Ariz., sees average July highs of about 106.5, while Phoenix sees average July highs of about 106. And, in August, Yuma averages about 105, compared to Las Vegas' 103.3.

Still whining? Check out the World Meteorological Association's Web site (www.worldweather.org), which features daily weather data from 147 national weather forecasting agencies worldwide, and you'll find more reason to be happy you have to endure only a Las Vegas summer.

Some high highs: Kidal, Mali, hits 107.4 in June; Multan, Pakistan, has a June average of 108.1; Ahmedabad, India, hits 107 in May; Doha, Quatar, averages 106-plus during June and July and 105.3 in August; and Riyadh, which averages 108 in June, 110 in July and 109.6 in August.

And, we Southern Nevadans have to put up with 100-plus average highs only three months of the year (June with 100.2, July with 106 and August with 103.3). Be thankful you're not in Gao, Mali, which typically experiences 100-plus highs from April through October -- six full months -- and tops out at 108.5 in May.

Or, consider Ras Al Khalmah, United Arab Emirates, which experiences 100-plus days from May through September and tops out with averages of 107-plus during June, July and August.

And here's another factoid that'll help you survive the sauna that is Southern Nevada in the summer: You've already made it about halfway through.

So relax, chill out and keep chanting the mantra that has comforted generations of Southern Nevadans before you: "It's only a dry heat. It's only a dry heat. It's only a dry heat ... "