Shape Up or Ship Out

Forget diamonds; shapewear is a girl's best friend. These suck-you-in and push-you-out undergarments justify that extra ranch dressing and empty bread bowl. Saddlebags are lassoed in, low bustlines get a lift and flat back ends are tuned up. Suddenly, clingy clothes move from the back to the front of the closet. Hallelujah to the rebirth of the girdle -- and all her new friends.

We tested a bevy of the latest shapewear that has arrived on the scene. Some charmed the panties off us. Others couldn't compete. Take a look at the verdicts.

THANKS SPANX

1. Spanx Higher Power, $34, spanx.com: If you fell in love with the original Spanx Power Panties, these provide all the same features except they fit just below your bra. Everything gets sucked in while still keeping you comfortable.

2. Spanx Hide & Sleek Hi-Rise Smoother, $68 to $72, spanx.com: Oh, they're high all right, so high they got in a fight with my bra. Another issue: the length. I had to do a double roll so I didn't expose them under my knee-length dress. Although better suited for someone who could dunk on Yao Ming, the size chart called us a match. Kudos to Spanx for putting out a product that doesn't cling to jersey dresses but please don't spoil a girl with a double gusset (High-Waisted Tight End Tights, Higher Power shaper) just to take it away with products like this.

3. Spanx High-Waisted Tight End Tights, $38, spanx.com: They pulled me in like a TMZ headline. With a high waist, these tights (which happen to be a fall staple this season) smoothed it all out from rib cage to tippy toe without leaving me blue in the face. What's better, Spanx goes easy on the rear threading. Sans clothes, it resembles something reminiscent of Prince's infamous MTV Video Music Awards chaps, but with clothes the tights respect that, in some areas, more is more. The best part: the double-cotton gusset. Hint: It makes trips to the little girl's room a breeze.

GET FIGGY WITH IT

1. Fig Leaves Ballet Definition high-waisted brief, $37, figleaves.com: Aside from the wedgies I endured, the briefs gave me more definition than a Webster's dictionary. And the satin fabric could have come right from a pair of ballet slippers. Try not to spend the day caressing your torso when you wear these. Even with the cinched waist, the slippery satin makes sliding these on and off much easier than the competitors.

2. Fig Leaves Huit Just A Kiss padded shorty, $59, figleaves.com: I wore these with jeans and it looked like I had socks stuffed in my pockets. They left a lumpy, unbalanced effect, not exactly the Kim Kardashian look I was going for. On the bright side: The sexy boy short is far better than the granny panties most padded underwear come in. Not that I would know.

FAIR MAIDEN

1. Maidenform Control It Waistnipper Brief, $15, Macy's: Go easy on the liquids when you wear these. With no double gusset and a narrow waist, pulling them up and down is as easy as finding a pair of Hannah Montana tickets. And, don't wear them for more than a few hours, otherwise the top rolls down to create a lovely flat tire around your waist. There might be downfalls, but notice the pricetag here before you write these off.

2. Maidenform Control It Thigh Slimmer, $18, Macy's: The bad part: They're a cheap version of Spanx. The good part: They're a cheap version of Spanx.

REY OF HOPE

1. Instant Shape by Dr. Robert Rey X Treme Plunge Dress, $47.50, HSN.com: Gastric bypass surgery in a box. It hurts just looking at this contraption. Put it on -- if you have five minutes and a crow bar -- and behold the shrunken image in the mirror. Take a picture because it doesn't last long. I'm guessing two hours, tops; I couldn't bring myself to sport it outside the house. Another downfall: your knees come so close together you'll be walking like a geisha.

2. Instant Shape by Dr. Robert Rey Plunge Halter Bra, $27.50, Sears: Anyone B cup or over will be chin-deep in cleavage. The halter style, however, limits the garments you can pair with it.

3. Instant Shape by Dr. Robert Rey Sculpted Bottom Boyleg, $27.50, HSN.com: It sculpted a little too much. My panty line nearly cut off my circulation after about three hours. And my waist was sucked in to the point that I wanted to pull a Britney by lunch.

Contact fashion reporter Xazmin Garza at xgarza@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0477.