Grumpy Guide’s ‘dam’ tour brings to mind alternate spelling

Everyone I take to Hoover Dam loves the engineering, the artistry, the history, and the sheer awesomeness. First the dam, then lunch at Milo's in Boulder City makes one memorable day trip.

The Friday after Thanksgiving is the busiest day of the year at the dam with more than 3,000 visitors flocking to see this engineering marvel. It is the world's largest concrete structure, completed in 1935, and it changed our lives by providing water and power to the Southwest.

Visitors first decide whether to take the $11-per-adult tour or pony up for the $30 tour. Either way, I'm guessing the tour guides last weekend gave it their best, and I'd like to take a little credit. My bad experience might have had positive results for others. Last Tuesday, I called to grumble about a tour guide I had. I'm guessing the guides got a pep talk as a result.

Over the years, I've been to Hoover Dam so many times I should be able to give the dam tour, except my memory for numbers is lousy.

Hoover Dam is also the site of the best party I've ever covered as a journalist. It was June 1992 and Steve Wynn was hosting the American Academy of Achievement at The Mirage. For three days, 450 of the nation's top high school students mingled with 50 of the nation's top achievers in the arts, business, politics and public service.

I covered it for the Review-Journal with the understanding that I would be unobtrusive since the point was to give students access to extraordinary people, not the press. The 700 guests traveled to the dam on buses.

Students were invited to talk with novelist Tom Clancy, FBI Director William Sessions, actors Kevin Costner and Tom Selleck, CIA Director Robert Gates, and football great Herschel Walker. There were also names they did not know, but whose achievements are lasting, such as the inventor of the laser, the father of the hydrogen bomb, even the man who gave the world Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

What a thrill it was to hear Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf speak, with a lighted version of the U.S. flag filling the imposing wall of Hoover Dam as a backdrop.

My other vivid memory was sitting near billionaire adventurer Richard Branson, who took frequent nips from a flask and had a really raucous time. (Norm, would it be wrong for me say I partied with one of the world's top party boys?)

Obviously, I have good memories of Hoover Dam.

In August, I took my cousin there and we had a grand time on the $11 tour, which is the 30-minute power plant tour. Our guide was funny, informative and open to questions. We liked the introductory movie, walking through tunnels and hearing the guide's stories and jokes.

When my uncle visited in October, I anted up for the $30 tour for three of us, the hour-long one that also takes you deeper into the tunnels within the dam's wall and lets you peek out air vents to the river below. Our guide was sullen and never asked anyone whether they had a question. From the moment he took our tickets to when he dumped us at the top of the dam, he was an unhappy camper.

I didn't get value for my $90. The $30 tour wasn't three times the fun, certainly not with Grumpy Guide.

Bureau of Land Management spokesman Bob Walsh and Bill Bruninga, facilities manager of the dam, made a constructive suggestion. If you're unhappy with a tour, say so, then and there. "Give us a chance to rectify the situation," said Bruninga, whose affection for the dam is obvious. Mention it to a customer rep or call or e-mail later. Visitors might get a free tour for another time or a gift or something to make up for their disappointment.

Considering the volume of visitors, upwards of 1 million a year, Walsh said there are few complaints.

Maybe Grumpy Guide was having a lousy day or didn't feel well. But people want value for their tourism dollars, now more than ever. Tour guides should give it their all and act as if Steve and Elaine Wynn were taking their every tour.

Jane Ann Morrison's column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0275. She also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/morrison.