TV Timeout: It’s showdown Saturday

Are you ready for a sextupleheader? No, we’re not talking about some crazy position in Kama Sutra. We’re talking about Saturday’s dizzying college football slate of six consecutive showdowns between teams ranked in the Top 20.

The games, which coincidentally feature staggered starting times, kick off at 9 a.m. — with No. 10 Baylor at No. 16 Oklahoma (FS1, Cox Channel 329) — and run all day, capped off by No. 5 Oregon’s matchup at No. 20 Utah at 7 p.m. (ESPN (30)).

In between, you can feast your eyes on No. 8 Notre Dame at No. 11 Arizona State (12:30 p.m., ABC (13)); No. 9 Kansas State at No. 6 Texas Christian (4 p.m., Fox (5)); No. 4 Alabama at No. 14 Louisiana State (5 p.m., CBS (8)); and No. 13 Ohio State at No. 7 Michigan State (5:05 p.m., ABC (13)).

The glorious lineup is almost enough to make this family man long for the carefree days of being a bachelor, when we had nothing preventing us from camping out on the couch — or sports bar or sports book — all day and night doing nothing but eating, drinking and watching and betting on ballgames. But, to paraphrase Dean Wormer in “Animal House,” “Fat, drunk and broke is no way to go through life, son.”

All of the aforementioned teams have at least one loss, so each matchup will essentially serve as a College Football Playoff elimination game.

The Ducks ascended to fourth in the first CFP rankings after whipping Stanford 45-16, but might have more trouble scoring against the Utes, who lead the nation in sacks (39) and are 27th in scoring defense, allowing 21.3 points per game.

The Crimson Tide, ranked fifth in the playoff rankings, can lock up a playoff spot if they win out, but that’s a big if as they not only have to beat an improved LSU squad, but No. 1 Mississippi State and No. 3 Auburn as well.

TCU rallied for a 31-30 win at No. 24 West Virginia to remain one game behind the Wildcats in the battle for first place in the Big 12. Kansas State has won both meetings with the Horned Frogs — second in the nation in points, with 48 per game — since TCU joined the conference in 2012. The Wildcats have won four of their last five road games against Top 25 opponents.

The Fighting Irish have allowed 113 points in their last three games, following up their 31-27 loss at No. 2 Florida State by beating Navy 49-39 last weekend after blowing a 21-point lead. The Sun Devils, coming off a 19-16 overtime win over the Utes, have tightened their defense, holding their last three foes to 36 points.

FRIDAY

Cleveland Cavaliers at Denver Nuggets (7:30 p.m., ESPN (30)): So far, the Big Three stands for losses by Cleveland (1-3), where the trio of LeBron James, Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving has yet to jell in losses to the New York Knicks, Portland Trail Blazers and Utah Jazz. See if the new-look Cavs’ early slide continues on this relatively slow night for sports on TV.

BEST OF REST: Washington Capitals at Chicago Blackhawks (5:30 p.m., NHL (316)); Memphis at Temple (4:30 p.m., ESPNU (320)); Utah State at Wyoming (5 p.m., ESPN2 (31)).

SUNDAY

San Francisco 49ers at New Orleans Saints (10 a.m., Fox (5)): In the preseason, this game could’ve been circled as a possible NFC Championship game preview, but now it’s simply a matchup of 4-4 teams headed in opposite directions. The Saints have won two straight to take sole possession of first place in the weak NFC South while the Niners have lost their last two and trail the league-leading Arizona Cardinals by three games in the stout NFC West. San Francisco has lost seven of its last eight regular-season games in New Orleans, which has an 11-game home winning streak.

BEST OF REST: Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (5:20 p.m., NBC (3)); Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders (1 p.m., CBS (8)); New York Giants at Seattle Seahawks (1 p.m., Fox (5)).

Contact reporter Todd Dewey at tdewey@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0354. Follow him on Twitter: @tdewey33.