Game-winning field goals don’t provide finishing kick NFL really needs

Forget Ellis Hobbs' record-setting 108-yard kickoff return for the New England Patriots. Never mind the New York Giants' Eli Manning and the Dallas Cowboys' Tony Romo each throwing four touchdown passes in "Sunday Night Football's" Texas-size season debut. We'll even take a pass -- literally -- on LaDainian Tomlinson's ability to throw the ball as well as run with it for the San Diego Chargers.

What "Rants & Raves" wants this week -- no, what we demand! -- is that the NFL do something about these ridiculous game-winning field goals:

Were we the only ones who noticed that three -- three! -- games were decided in a three-minute -- THREE-MINUTE! -- span Sunday when the Denver Broncos, Green Bay Packers and Washington Redskins all won games on three-point -- THREE-POINT! -- kicks?

George Halas and Vince Lombardi are spinning like lathes in their graves.

• Certainly, Lombardi's "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" mandate didn't include games being decided on the final play by some wrong-gendered Rockette. Hey, what else do you call guys named Jason, Mason and Shaun, respectively?

(Hold the calls and e-mails In fifth grade, we were beaten up by a girl named Suzie, so we're positive every Jason, Mason and Shaun out there could take us.) ...

• While we'd like the NFL -- and football overall -- to get rid of field goals (and the crime-ridden Cincinnati Bengals, while they're at it), we know that's not realistic.

But we're going to repeat a suggestion we made several years back which, like the offenses of the Atlanta Falcons, Chicago Bears and Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday, went nowhere: Change how field goals are counted by making those from 30 yards and in worth one point, ones from 31 to 50 yards worth two points and then -- OK, grudgingly -- anything over 50 yards worth three points.

That way field goal tries don't become "automatic" for coaches. In fact, different values for attempts would force coaches to "coach" and would compel offenses to go for more first downs and, in turn, more touchdowns.

Otherwise, you essentially have soccer being played in helmets and shoulder pads. ...

• On a serious note, let's keep a good thought -- or say a prayer, if you're religious -- for Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, who suffered what is being termed a "catastrophic" cervical spine injury on that helmet-to-helmet hit Sunday in his team's loss to Denver.

The reserve player, who by all media accounts was first-team as a person, almost certainly will be paralyzed, according to his doctor. Such a terrible shame.

At the same time, share that good thought with the player Everett made contact with, Broncos kick returner Domenik Hixon, who now has a heavy emotional burden to carry, even though neither he nor Everett did anything wrong on the play. ...

• Every UNLV football fan had a hummingbird's heartbeat in the closing minutes of Saturday's game against then-No. 5 Wisconsin at Sam Boyd Stadium.

Could it be? Would it be? Should it be? -- Ah, no upset, as the Badgers won 20-13 in the closing minutes. But a whole lot of respect was earned by a UNLV team that played its collective fanny off.

Moral victories don't count, coaches will say, but they sure build morale. ...

• We don't mean to disrespect new Gladiators coaching hire Mike Wilpolt -- but, um, uh, WHO?

Outside of the Los Angeles Avengers defense and his family, has anyone ever heard of this guy? He might turn out to be an OK coach, but he ranks zero on the buzz meter.

Sad to say, just like the franchise's first three coaches. ...

• We don't know why the Gladiators didn't wait another week to make their hire.

Michigan's Lloyd Carr should be available. ...

• We're not sure what to make of the rumors that the Gladiators might soon be moving to Cleveland -- other than we hope they're true.

The franchise has been a disaster pretty much from the local get-go.

At least in Cleveland, they'll be closer to absentee (Miami-based) owner Jim Ferraro, who hasn't returned repeated phone calls from Review-Journal reporter Mark Anderson about the rumor. ...

• In light of the fracas at the Video Music Awards on Sunday at the Palms, we're waiting for a date and site to be announced by Top Rank and Don King Productions for the co-promoted "Kid Rock-Tommy Lee I: Punching for Pam" wimpy-weight championship fight.

(The winner takes on Suzie -- yeah, the now-grown-up girl who once kicked our tail.)

Joe Hawk is the Review-Journal's sports editor. His "Rants & Raves" column is published Tuesday. He can be reached at 387-2912 or jhawk@reviewjournal.com.