Sports figures need to show resolve in ’10

Call it what you want. A promise. A decision. A commitment.

For today, the first of 2010, a resolution.

I realize people are busy this time of year, so I want to do my part to help those toiling away on other projects in setting goals for the coming months.

Because, well, if you ever read my e-mails or listened to my voice mails from all those splendid people who somehow forget to leave their names and numbers, you would understand the pleasant and elegant ways many view my opinions.

For me, the resolution phase probably is going to have to begin with pledging not to snicker when checking out the third-and-short success rates for Louisville's football team.

That, and admitting more often than not that I really am watching "So You Think You Can Dance" at home instead of acting upset that the music is interrupting my reading.

Here are a few resolutions for those who might not have the time to think of their own:

• New UNLV football coach Bobby Hauck: To understand his mission at a university where most sports fans don't wake until the first bounce of a basketball in October, one that the few but proud remaining football faithful hold as an example of great progress and success ... New Mexico Bowl or bust.

• Former UNLV football coach and now Louisville offensive coordinator Mike Sanford: To not complain about one thing for at least 48 hours upon arriving at Louisville's indoor practice facility, the $8 million Trager Center, which includes a 120-yard FieldTurf surface and a 100-meter four-lane sprint track. It will be tough, but with all our good thoughts pointed in his direction, Sanford just might make it the entire two days without casting blame.

We wish Sanford nothing but good luck, long completions, a physical run game, sustained touchdown drives and the best darn locker room BCS money can buy.

• Mike Leach: To remember that saying about the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. Some humility will do Leach well in his next coaching stop, as will a much larger shed in which to banish injured players.

• Bowl Championship Series suits: To go yet another bowl season without noticing how dominant the Mountain West Conference is during this time of year, because it's so much better being able to rip the cartel for its stupidity in not allowing the league an automatic BCS berth.

The last thing we need is these yahoos growing a brain, because then we'd be left to only make fun of Oscar Goodman. And, truth be told, the old guy is growing on us with the vision of a governor's mansion that has gin pouring from all the faucets.

• Dana White: To go an entire interview without swearing. OK, an entire answer to one question. OK, an entire sentence. OK, one word.

• Manny Pacquiao: To realize that if you are going to continue pulling off that whole "People's Champion" thing, you probably need to come up with better reasons for ducking random blood tests than being fearful of needles and worrying that a tablespoon of blood taken before a fight would weaken your resolve. Because right now, well, any of the people with a shred of common sense are a little bit suspicious.

• Tiger Woods: I suppose one for a guy worth the GNP of a small country would be to at least purchase another cell phone (I'm guessing he's now a Verizon man since AT&T dumped him Thursday) so as to better hide his philandering ways. Of course, there is also the obvious resolution -- mix in a little fidelity with all those Sundays wearing red.

• Lon Kruger: To do his best Lou Holtz impression a few days from now when trying to convince his players that, yes, BYU's Jimmer Fredette really is that good.

• Tina Kunzer-Murphy: To open Las Vegas Bowl week in December by being proclaimed the Guinness World Record holder for the most amount of hugs given over a 12-month period.

• Balloon Boy: To inquire of his teacher at school the definition of emancipation and move forward with the process immediately. We're thinking of you, Falcon, along with your brothers, Parakeet and Pigeon.

• Billy Johnson: To somehow pull off a Wranglers promotion where Balloon Boy circles above the ice during a game waving from that helium contraption, highlighted by a shootout between periods where fans can take slap shots at the kid's father.

Who, of course, would be standing in goal with no pads or stick.

• Jim "John" Livengood: To be able to recognize 10 community leaders within the first month of employment as UNLV athletic director, which would put him, oh, about five ahead of how many Mike Hamrick knew over six years.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at egraney@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-4618. He also can be heard weeknights from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m. on "The Sports Scribes" on KDWN-AM (720) and www.kdwn.com.