Three Up, Three Down

I saw Yorvit Torrealba naked.

It happened a few weeks ago in San Diego. I was in the Padres' locker room, waiting on Ryan Ludwick, when a blinding flash of bare rear end entered my peripheral vision.

I think it was Torrealba. The flash came from his locker area, where he and some of the Padres' other Spanish-speaking players had been chatting. This is not something I cared to confirm. No how. No way.

My mind went back to when I was 6 or 7, when you had to build these homemade filter contraptions out of giant boxes and place them over your head to view the eclipse of the sun. You looked like a nerd. But when I saw that flash of rear end -- a catcher's rear end, mind you -- I wished I'd had two of those giant boxes.

To eclipse the moon, as it were.

My point is this: That as uncomfortable as members of the New York Jets made that female reporter from Mexico, Ines Sainz, feel in their locker room, a lot of male reporters don't like being put in that situation, either. And that maybe it's time for the people who decide protocol about these things come up with a better way.

Soccer is the biggest sport in England, but the "changing" room is off-limits to reporters, who never would dream of demanding access. I have covered -- er, reported on -- the UNLV basketball and football teams for more than 20 years. I can count the times I went inside the locker room on one hand. It isn't necessary.

It's times like these when I think of the beat writers for the White Sox, Pirates, Dodgers, Braves and Angels who reported on Terry "Fat Tub of Goo" Forster during his major league career, and expressions such as "Oh, the humanity." And that as tragic as the Hindenburg was, there are worse things one can witness.

THREE UP

■ 51s STATUS QUO: It's looking more and more as if Don Logan will return as 51s general manager. And if he does, he'll most likely still have the Toronto Blue Jays' updated logo on the breast pocket of his golf shirt (bring back the old bird from the Dave Stieb days, I say). The Rangers are switching their Triple-A affiliation to Round Rock, Texas, and the Brewers are staying in Nashville, basically leaving the Astros and Blue Jays to fight over Oklahoma City and Las Vegas. Oklahoma City is closer to Houston and has a beautiful ballpark, with batting cages. Las Vegas has Cashman Field and Carrot Top.

■ MICKEY BERKOWITZ: It was pointed out here that if Karam Mashour makes the grade with the UNLV basketball team, he will join Iris Dinerman, who played for the Lady Rebels, on the short list of UNLV hoopsters born in Israel. There's one more. Moshe Berkovich, considered by many the best Israeli ever to lace up the high-tops, played 11 games for UNLV during the 1975-76 season, averaging 2.1 points. Known then as Mickey Berkowitz, he was the first native of Israel to play NCAA Division I basketball. Mazel tov, Moshe.

■ 121 POINTS: Desert Oasis beat Bonanza 77-44 in high school football Thursday. Now you know what they did with the old Las Vegas Gladiators' end-zone nets.

THREE DOWN

■ KARL BENSON: This bickering between the Mountain West and Western Athletic conferences is getting messier than the inside of a Domino's Pizza box. Someone should remind the WAC commissioner, who's suing Fresno State and UNR over their intention to defect, that if the threat of legal action actually prevented somebody from leaving, Billy Bob Thornton would have sued Angelina Jolie years ago.

■ LOU ROSENBERG: The Locomotives' front-office guy wants to assure fans this team and league isn't like the XFL and other pro football imitators that have failed here. Actually, attendance wasn't a problem for the XFL's Outlaws, who averaged 22,169 during their only season in 2001. As Outlaws star Rod Smart might have put it on the back of his jersey: He Watch Me.

■ MIKE CLAUSEN: While it's admirable that former UNLV starting quarterbacks are willing to switch to the defensive secondary for a chance to earn a letterman's sweater -- remember Travis Dixon? -- it doesn't exactly say a whole lot for the Rebels' ability to recruit guys who can throw the football. (Omar Clayton, UNLV's new starting quarterback, is a walk-on.) But if the Rebels ever put in a strong safety option pass, UNR had better watch out.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352.