Three Up, Three Down

Recent developments in the Mountain West Conference recall the board game Monopoly, with commissioner Craig Thompson cast in the role of Rich Uncle Pennybags, minus the top hat and bushy mustache.

Thompson lost Utah and Brigham Young, the MWC equivalent of Boardwalk and Park Place, to the soon-to-be Pac-12 and football independence, respectively. But he proactively added Western Athletic Conference headliner Boise State, which, if it continues to win all of its football games, will be like landing on Pennsylvania Avenue with four houses on it.

Still wheeling and dealing and self-preserving, Thompson put deeds to two more WAC properties, UNR and Fresno State, in the MWC portfolio. These were sort of like Marvin Gardens and Ventnor Ave., although Fresno might have slipped to Illinois Avenue status in football. And Water Works in basketball.

On Thursday it was revealed Hawaii either has a handshake agreement to become the 11th MWC member (in football only) or must cough up Community Chest funds (in the form of travel subsidies) to make it happen officially.

Where to place the Warriors' token on the board? A couple of years ago, when they busted the Bowl Championship Series and lost to Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, they were another green property with houses, for sure.

Today, Hawaii mostly might be insurance in the event Texas Christian takes a ride on the Reading. The Horned Frogs certainly would raise the profile of the Big East, a league chock full of St. Charles Places. The Mountain West can only hope it's more about geography and less about automatic BCS bids.

As for the nearly bankrupt WAC, adding Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues (Texas State and Texas-San Antonio) seems a lot like rolling snake eyes when double-sixes are called for.

Anyway you look at it, there's no Free Parking in college sports these days. Either you bring TV sets or a loaded trophy case to the table, or you do not pass "Go" and you do not collect $180,000.

Or whatever it cost Auburn to sign Cam Newton.

THREE UP

■ JAVAN HEDLUND: The Mountain West communications director took exception to a quote attributed to him in the Los Angeles Times, repeated here, that said: "The way things are right now, if you're not on the ESPN family of networks, you're not on television." Hedlund said he was referring only to perception, not reality, and that he prefaced the remark by stating, "You have to educate people that games aren't just on ESPN." All I'm saying is it wouldn't be a bad idea if some MWC games -- not necessarily all -- were on ESPN.

■ BRYCE HARPER: The 18-year-old Las Vegas phenom went 13-for-39 (.333) with three doubles, two triples, a homer and eight RBIs in 10 Arizona Instructional League games. He was 1-for-4 and drove in a run with a sharp single, striking out twice during the Scottsdale Scorpions' 3-2 victory over the Peoria Javelinas in Saturday's AIL championship game. He hit the fastballs. He missed the curves.

■ GEORGE CLINTON: The architect of the funk music acts Parliament, Funkadelic and Bootsy's Rubber Band will be the halftime entertainment during the United Football League championship game pitting the Las Vegas Locomotives against the Florida Tuskers on Saturday. Clinton also is the voice of "The Funktapus" in the popular "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" video game, which, it can be assumed, will make him the only Funktapus in Omaha, Neb., on Saturday.

THREE DOWN

■ UFL: If the struggling five-team league doesn't back off on assessing a $150,000 transfer fee to NFL teams that sign UFL players to active rosters, George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars will be playing in next year's title game, not performing at halftime. Take away the NFL carrot, and it's only a matter of time until the Winnipeg Blue Bombers' depth chart gets a whole lot deeper.

■ TRE'VON WILLIS: The UNLV standout looked out of sorts against Wisconsin on Saturday in his first game back since serving a four-game suspension. It shouldn't stay that way for long. And who knows? The hand Willis used to flick the ball away from the Badgers' 6-foot-10-inch Jon Leuer under the basket with 14.3 seconds left and the Rebels up one might wind up looming very large on Selection Sunday.

■ WRIGLEY FIELD FOOTBALL: Fearful that players would get injured running into the padded outfield wall at the short end of the field, Big Ten officials decreed both offenses at Saturday's Illinois-Northwestern game would run plays toward the regulation-sized end zone of the venerable baseball diamond. Former Bears tight end Mike Ditka and Chuck Bednarik, who played both ways for the old Philadelphia Eagles, immediately called Big Ten officials a bunch of pansies.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352.