Ready or not, some new fall series get early start

It's been a long and unsettling week here on the couch. I've been pondering the inevitabilities of life with the sort of introspection that usually only exists in the space between a Daniel Stern voice-over and a Joe Cocker tune. (I've also been watching a lot of reruns of "The Wonder Years.")

It all started with last week's Video Music Awards. Part of me always knew I'd have to stop making fun of Britney Spears someday, I just never thought it would be this soon. She's been my most frequent and reliable go-to punch line. But now the thought of even one more joke about her is more disturbing than that "Leave Britney Alone!" guy on YouTube.

Similarly, I've finally accepted that the underwhelming fall season has to start sometime, no matter how much I wish it could just be put off forever. Like the metric system or Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" album.

Several new and returning series are so eager to get things going, they're getting a jump on the season's official Sept. 24 start date.

"Prison Break" comes back today (8 p.m., KVVU-TV, Channel 5). "Beauty and the Geek" starts Tuesday (8 p.m., KVCW-TV, Channel 33). "America's Next Top Model" (8 p.m., Channel 33) and "'Til Death" (8:30 p.m., Channel 5) get going Wednesday. And "Survivor: China," featuring local poker pro Jean-Robert Bellande, kicks off Thursday (8 p.m., KLAS-TV, Channel 8).

Here's a look at the new series premiering this week. All 29 new shows will be profiled Sunday.

"K-VILLE"

(9 p.m. today, Channel 5)

What it's about: Marlin Boulet (Anthony Anderson) is a New Orleans cop with serious issues after his then-partner abandoned him in the chaos of Hurricane Katrina. Boulet and his new rookie partner, ex-soldier Trevor Cobb (Cole Hauser), set out to clean up what's left of the city's streets.

What it's like: It's hard not to like a series filmed in New Orleans that draws awareness to the city's rebuilding efforts while pumping millions into the local economy. It should get even better as future episodes are said to focus more on the buddy cop elements than the pilot's heavy messages. Logandale native and former Las Vegan Amanda Righetti ("The O.C.") joins the cast next week.

"BACK TO YOU"

(8 p.m. Wednesday, Channel 5)

What it's about: After an on-air meltdown at a Los Angeles TV station, self-absorbed anchorman Chuck Darling (Kelsey Grammer) returns to his old Pittsburgh station to work with his former co-anchor, and former lover, Kelly Carr (Patricia Heaton).

What it's like: Trying to follow a long-running hit is always tricky. But at no point during the pilot episode did I ever stop thinking, "That's Kelsey Grammer. That's Kelsey Grammer." Nothing really stands out, and many of the jokes are forced and obvious.

"KID NATION"

(8 p.m. Wednesday, Channel 8)

What it's about: The reality show strands 40 kids, ages 8 to 15, in a New Mexico ghost town for 40 days without their parents or modern comforts. While there, they will cook, clean outhouses, haul water and set up and run businesses.

What it's like: CBS didn't make preview copies available. Thankfully, there are no Las Vegans on the wildly controversial series, but there are three young people from Reno and two from Sparks.

"GOSSIP GIRL"

(9 p.m. Wednesday, Channel 33)

What it's about: The sensational lives of privileged Manhattan prep schoolers are chronicled on a must-read blog written by the mysterious Gossip Girl (voiced by Kristen Bell).

What it's like: Based on the best-selling books -- there are 11 in print, with a 12th on the way next month -- the drama from "The O.C." creator Josh Schwartz is certain to set Sidekicks ablaze among the teen and tween sets. "Gossip Girl" has been taking a lot of heat for its depictions of teen sexuality and drug use. Like young people would ever do those terrible things. Next thing you know, they'll be shown listening to that crazy rock 'n' roll music.

"KITCHEN NIGHTMARES"

(9 p.m. Wednesday, Channel 5)

What it's about: "Hell's Kitchen" chef Gordon Ramsay takes on a different struggling restaurant each week, aiming to turn around everything from its appliances to its menu to -- with a little pop psychology -- the owners and staff.

What it's like: Based on Ramsay's British reality hit, the series should be renamed "Kitchen (Bleep)in' Nightmares." If Ramsay cooked as much as he swears, he could feed all of sub-Saharan Africa. The integrity of the series was questioned when a lawsuit accused Ramsay of faking scenes, but it's still fairly entertaining.

"NASHVILLE"

(9 p.m. Fridays, already airing, Channel 5)

What it's about: The series follows seven up-and-coming country musicians ... and some tool whose family buys and sells jets.

What it's like: Like "Kitchen Nightmares," calling this a reality series might be a bit of a stretch. There's nothing real, for example, about two people off the street being given the run of the Grand Ole Opry. (And, not to nitpick, but if Matt were truly trying to impress Mika, he would've taken her to the Ryman.) One highlight: Singer Rachel Bradshaw keeps saying she wants to make it without letting anybody know she's Terry Bradshaw's daughter, but in doing so, she lets the world -- including any music executives or producers who happen to be watching -- know she's Terry Bradshaw's daughter.

Christopher Lawrence's Life on the Couch column appears on Mondays. E-mail him at clawrence@reviewjournal.com.