MOVIES
April 27, 2007 - 9:00 pm
Movies are rated on a letter-grade scale, from A to F. Opinions by R-J movie critic Carol Cling (C.C.) are indicated by initials. Other opinions are from wire service critics.
Motion Picture Association of America ratings:
G - General audiences, all ages.
PG - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.
PG-13 - Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children under 13.
R - Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or guardian.
NC-17 - No one under 17 admitted.
NR - Not rated.
AMAZING GRACE
(B) That rare bird: a tearjerker about the House of Commons and the antislavery movement in 18th-century England. Michael Apted's idolatrous portrait of abolitionist William Wilberforce (Ioan Gruffudd) is wall-to-wall with intriguing characters and deeply felt performances, but leaves us starving to know more about the faces in the background. Also in the top-chop cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Albert Finney, Michael Gambon, Rufus Sewell, Romola Garai and Senegalese singer Youssou N'Dour. (116 min.) PG; themes involving slavery, mild profanity. (C.C.)
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATERS
(B) The secret origins of Meatwad, Frylock, and Master Shake emerge in this big-screen expansion of the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim favorite about super-powered fast foods. Unlike their "South Park" counterparts, writer-producers Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis are less interested in spearing sacred cows of contemporary American culture than splaying wide the covert fantasy life of young heterosexual male cyber-nerds. It's all rude, rambunctious fun -- and by the end, you may feel as if you've been ballroom dancing with a live, exposed electric guitar cord for an hour and a half. (87 min.) R; crude and sexual humor, violent images, profanity.
ARE WE DONE YET?
(D) Put a fork in this "Are We There Yet?" sequel, as Nick Persons (Ice Cube) falls into his own personal money pit when he and his pregnant wife (Nia Long) and her two kids move to a dream home, which proceeds to fall apart. This alleged comedy, supposedly based on "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House," has about as much to do with that frothy Cary Grant confection as a Yugo has to do with a 1948 Buick Roadster. Both are vehicles. Both eventually reach a destination. The question is, what kind of ride are you looking for? (92 min.) PG; brief profanity and sexual innuendo.
BLADES OF GLORY
(C+) After spoofing soccer and NASCAR, Will Ferrell goes for the gold as an arrogant figure skater who teams with a flamboyant rival ("Napoleon Dynamite's" Jon Heder) to shake up the pairs division when they're both barred from solo competition. Like "Zoolander" with a Zamboni, this dumb-with-a-capital-D goofball farce takes its (almost) fleshed-out sketch-comedy idea as far as an ice-skating buddy movie with we're-not-gay jokes and a psycho stalker can go. Which isn't that far. (94 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual humor, profanity, comic violent image, drug references.
DISTURBIA
(B-) Think of "Rear Window" with digital equipment and front lawns and you'll know what to expect from this spirited, smart-alecky suspense thriller in which an eavesdropping teen (Shia LaBeouf) tries to figure out if the soft-spoken bachelor (David Morse) next door is a cold-blooded killer. So what if you can see every plot twist bearing down like a rush-hour commuter express? "Disturbia" still boasts a scrappy charm. (104 min.) PG-13; sequences of terror and violence, sexual references.
FIREHOUSE DOG
(B) After a botched stunt, Hollywood's top dog, the pampered canine star of "Jurassic Bark" and "The Fast and the Furrious" is presumed dead -- but has really been adopted by a single firefighter's sullen son in this family-friendly tail (oops, make that tale) that's really the canine version of "Doc Hollywood" anchored by moving performances by veteran Bruce Greenwood and "Bridge to Terabithia's" Josh Hutcherson. (111 min.) PG; action peril, mild crude humor and profanity.
FRACTURE
(C+) A calculating tycoon (Anthony Hopkins, who could play this role in his sleep) shoots his adulterous wife at point-blank range, confesses to the crime -- and is determined to keep his cocky prosecutor (a mannered Ryan Gosling) off guard -- in a slick but empty battle-of-wits thriller that once again proves "howdunits" are seldom as compelling as "whodunits." True to its title, cracks begin to appear the minute you look too closely at "Fracture," a movie that wants desperately to be clever -- but turns out to be distressingly routine. (112 min.) R; violence, profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
GRINDHOUSE
(B-) Velveeta underground: Directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez team for a two-in-one tribute to vintage cinematic schlock. Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" charts an alien plague that strikes a Texas town, with a sharpshooter (Freddy Rodriguez) and his dream girl, a go-go dancer with a machine-gun leg (Rose McGowan), leading the human defenders; Tarantino's "Death Proof" focuses on a grizzled movie stuntman (a sensational Kurt Russell) targeting victims from behind the wheel of his title muscle car. Enjoyable, if overlong and hopelessly self-indulgent. (191 min. -- and no, that's not a typo.) R; strong graphic bloody violence and gore, pervasive profanity, sexual situations, nudity, drug use. (C.C.)
THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2
(D-) National Guard trainees (including Michael McMillian and Daniella Alonso) battle desert mutants in a sequel to the remake of the 1977 original. Yes, yes, there's dismemberment, rude jolts and gore galore in this sequel, directed by Martin Weisz from a script by series creator Wes Craven and his son Jonathan. But it's all too formulaic to be even mildly interesting. (89 min.) R; strong gruesome horror violence and gore, rape, profanity.
THE HOAX
(B) In 1971, writer Clifford Irving (a live-wire Richard Gere) almost pulls off a scam for the ages -- by convincing the publishing world that he's the authorized biographer of elusive, enigmatic billionaire Howard Hughes. Director Lasse Hallstrom ("Chocolat," "The Cider House Rules") treats Irving's con as a comic kick in the pants, a rambunctious portrait of a delusional character who's perfectly at home in a delusional time that bears more than a slight resemblance to our own. Alfred Molina, Marcia Gay Harden, Hope Davis, Julie Delpy and Stanley Tucci lead the sparking supporting cast. (115 min.) R; profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
HOT FUZZ
(B) Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, who teamed up for the 2004 zombie romp "Shaun of the Dead," reunite in this buddy-cop spoof about a gung-ho London officer who's transferred to a sleepy rural village -- just in time to take on a serial killer. A pedal-to-the-metal kick, two parts delirious mayhem and one part deafening noise, that could put the final digit to "Lethal Weapon" and its kind, if there's any mercy in the world. (120 min.) R; violent content, graphic images, profanity.
IN THE LAND OF WOMEN
(B) After his girlfriend dumps him, a scruffy young writer ("The O.C.'s" annoyingly endearing Adam Brody) flees L.A. for the Detroit suburbs, where he cares for his ailing grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) and bonds with both a 40-something neighbor (Meg Ryan) and her estranged teenage daughter (Kristen Stewart). Director Jon Kasdan (yes, his father Lawrence made "The Big Chill" and "Body Heat") makes an accomplished feature debut with this fresh, funny and perceptive movie, which also proves Brody's big-screen appeal. (97 min.) PG-13; sexual content, mature themes, profanity.
THE LAST MIMZY
(B-) An owlish 10-year-old (Chris O'Neil) and his angelic little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find common ground -- and extraordinary powers -- through a strange box that washes up at their beachfront vacation home. This well-meaning, if underpowered, "E.T." wannabe brims with gifted youngsters, addled adults, awe-inducing phenomena and, for those who need it, a cautionary message, yet can't quite conjure the magic it wants so desperately to create. (90 min.) PG; mild peril and profanity, mature themes. (C.C.)
MEET THE ROBINSONS
(B-) An orphan with a flair for wacky inventions finds a home -- in the future, with the even wackier title family -- in this computer-animated 'toon featuring the voices of, among others, Adam West, Tom Kenny (alias Spongebob Squarepants) and Tom Selleck. It's not exactly original, but this breezy tale juggles its familiar elements with heart, quirkiness and energy to spare. In digital 3-D at select locations. (102 min.) G; all ages. (C.C.)
PATHFINDER
(D+) When Vikings invade North America, a young Norse boy left behind after a shipwreck is raised by Indians -- and grows up to battle the Vikings when they return. Karl Urban (alias Eomer in "Lord of the Rings") leads the cast of a movie that degenerates into an infantile barrage of head- and limb-lopping against a fairy-tale backdrop (much computer-generated amplification) in a story that makes "Conan the Barbarian" seem like Dostoyevsky in its complexity. (99 min.) R; strong brutal violence.
PERFECT STRANGER
(C-) Hardly perfect: An investigative reporter (Halle Berry) goes undercover at an advertising agency to find out whether its sleazy owner (Bruce Willis) had anything to do with a childhood pal's murder. This alleged thriller boasts more smelly red herrings than a wholesale fishmarket -- not to mention plot holes the size of a wholesale fishmarket, unappealing characters with murky motivations and a director (James Foley) forced to distract the audience by any means necessary, including multiple "gotcha!" moments that prove surprise is no substitute for suspense. (109 min.) R; sexual situations, nudity, violence, disturbing images, profanity. (C.C.)
PREMONITION
(C) As Yogi Berra would say, it's deja vu all over again in a been-there-seen-that thriller about a desperate housewife (Sandra Bullock, back in "Lake House" time-displacement territory) who loses her husband (Julian McMahon) in a car crash. But wait, maybe she doesn't. Or maybe she does. Maybe she's losing her mind. But there's no doubt we're losing patience -- and interest. (97 min.) PG-13; violence, disturbing images, mature themes, brief profanity. (C.C.)
THE REAPING
(D+) A former Christian missionary (seriously slumming double Oscar-winner Hilary Swank) who specializes in debunking miracles agrees to help a teacher ("Basic Instinct 2's" David Morrissey) whose Louisiana hometown has become the target of eerie biblical-style plagues. Stephen Rea ("V for Vendetta"), Idris Elba ("Daddy's Little Girls") and the angelically creepy AnnaSophia Robb ("Bridge to Terabithia") round out the cast of this highfalutin hodgepodge of biblical mumbo jumbo (100 min.) R; violence, disturbing images, sexuality.
REDLINE
(D-) Bored billionaires organize illegal drag races in a motorhead action flick that makes a good argument for mass transit. Moviegoers among certain demographic groups will be enticed by the ornamental female population (led by Nadia Bjorlin) and by the overly agitated fleet of exotic cars, from Lamborghinis to Ferraris. Still, this isn't exactly a car wreck, mainly because it's far less exciting and you can, in fact, look away. (95 min.) PG-13; violence, illegal and reckless behavior, sexual content, profanity, drug references.
TMNT
(C+) Time to raise some shell! Yes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back, digitally animated and ready to kick some serious behind -- that is, as soon as they stop all this unseemly bickering with each other. This latest big-screen incarnation is closer in spirit to the original comic book than the animated TV series that baby-sat a generation of youngsters, but what's lacking, except in too-quick flashes, are the wit and self-mockery that have marked the franchise in its various formats. (88 min.) PG; animated action violence, scary cartoon images, mild profanity.
VACANCY
(D-) Bickering spouses (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) suffer car trouble and wind up in an isolated motel's honeymoon suite -- the locale for a series of snuff films starring unsuspecting guests. Yes, it is a horror flick and supposed to be violent. But the way in which it gets off on the violence -- and, ostensibly, hopes the audience does the same -- is especially distasteful and, frankly, misogynistic. When it's over, you'll feel grimy, sickened and desperately in need of a shower. (97 min.) R; brutal violence and terror, brief nudity, profanity.
WILD HOGS
(D) Weekend warriors (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) go from mild to wild when they rev up their suburban lives on a cross-country motorcycle trip. Or, more precisely, they embarrass themselves by falling off motorcycles, setting fire to inanimate objects and indulging in hissy fits with spectacularly unfunny results, while others (including those of us in the audience) watch helplessly. (100 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual content, violence.