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5 conditions under which to see ‘Prisoners’

When their 6- and 7-year-old daughters are kidnapped, two suburban couples (Hugh Jackman and Maria Bello, Terrence Howard and Viola Davis) go through every stage of grief — and invent a few new ones along the way — in “Prisoners.”

Clocking in at 153 minutes jam-packed with sorrow, weeping, misery, despair and agony, the movie could best be described as grief porn.

And that’s before Jackman’s character takes matters into his own hands, kidnapping and torturing a suspect (Paul Dano) despite the fact that, with the IQ of a 10-year-old, he couldn’t possibly have committed the crime.

“Prisoners” is a tough movie to watch, but here are five conditions under which you should try:

  1. You want to see Jackman go berserk and have to rely on something besides a pair of CGI-ed adamantium claws.
  2. You’re a comics (sorry, graphic novels) nerd. Jackman’s here, and he’s none too pleased with a police detective (Jake Gyllenhaal) distractingly named Loki. Because of complicated rights issues between Fox and Disney, that’s likely as close to an “X-Men”-“Avengers” crossover movie as you’re going to get for quite some time.
  3. Your significant other wants children and you really, really don’t.
  4. You think that, when it comes to torture, Jack Bauer was a bit of a pantywaist.
  5. Your dominatrix has been out of town and you truly haven’t felt punished in a good long while.
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