‘Killing Eve’ star Sandra Oh on friendship, motherhood

You are not allowed to call Sandra Oh’s mother a Tiger Mom. The actress will do that herself.

“I’m not afraid of the concept of the Tiger Mom,” said Oh, 50, Zooming in from her L.A. house in a red flowered dress with her dark hair free flowing down her shoulders. The private actress actually opened the family vault, which begins in Ottawa. “My own mom is tiny, but fierce. She also gets her point across. Once, my mom said — and I still have it on a Post It — “If only you were neater, I would love you more.’”

As the reporter winced, Oh just laughed. “I have a really good relationship with my mom because I can’t stop her from being herself. I’m not going to stop her. I’m going to enjoy her,” said the actress, who has played some of TV’s most memorable characters, from Cristina Yang on “Grey’s Anatomy” to Eve Polastri on “Killing Eve.”

All this maternal talk brings her back to her new Pixar film, “Turning Red,” opening on March 11 on Disney +. The plot revolves around 13-year-old Mei Lee (Rosalie Chiang) who can’t help but turn into a giant red panda whenever she gets too excited or her helicopter mother, Ming (Oh), majorly stresses her out — which is all the time.

Next up for Oh is a new season of the Netflix college drama “The Chair.” She will also star in the film “Umma,” about a mother and her daughter living the quiet life on a farm when her estranged mother arrives from Korea.

Review-Journal: What is a relaxing Sunday for you?

Sandra Oh: A lot of church, lots of golf, a lot of reading.

You’re doing some press for “Turning Red” now. Was it strange to finally meet the cast of “Turning Red” in person, since you never worked with each other?

I think launching this film has been so exciting. I’ve been able to meet all these young women and see the bodies that belong to the voices. I’m really buzzing because I love to see such promising talent.

Tell us about helicopter mama Ming.

She’s a hyper vigilant, loving mother. My film daughter and I basically go through this change in our relationship — a natural change — when daughters have to become their own independent people. This is really tough on her mother, Ming, because she’s afraid for her girl to go out into the world. She comes to realize that her daughter is ready — and these huge changes in the mother-daughter relationship are expected.

Were you the good kid? Did you give your mother any grief?

I was pretty good, but a rebel when it came to my piano lessons. I recorded myself playing and would then put on the recording so my parents would think I was practicing. My mom, who was in the kitchen cooking, would believe it.

This is also a film about the importance of female friends. How has friendship played a big role in your own life?

I’m well into my mid-life, but I still have my best friend, Margo. That’s everything. I have relationships that are 40 years old, which seems unbelievable, but I couldn’t do it without them. I loved this film because it’s about figuring out who you are when your friends are really, really important. For me, the girls I grew up with in Canada are still my friends, which is a beautiful thing.

In films and on TV, female friendships are often filled with the tropes of being very catty and filled with jealousy and backstabbing. This film is different.

This is an extremely important question because those tropes are so wrong. I don’t know who is in charge of them, but it worries me because people actually start behaving like the tropes they see on the screen. I think this film is an extremely honest depiction of female friendship being supportive vs. it just being about the love interest being the most important thing. Also, these girls are not afraid to be smart. They like their work and act entrepreneurial. They have their eyes on the prize and they make it happen. I really appreciated how these young women were in charge of their lives and are making good decisions while having a good time.

Switching gears, you’ve said that it was difficult navigating fame after “Grey’s” became a big hit.

It was really strange because I really wasn’t able to go out. I’d hide in restaurants. The key is managing the attention and being true to yourself. You have to set boundaries and find a way to enjoy your life and stay grounded. It’s like with anything else. Sometimes you just have to say no.

You have two Golden Globes and are the first Asian woman to be nominated for an Emmy for lead actress. Is there a pressure there?

I know I have a responsibility. It’s why I want to reach out to young actors. I’ve been in the game longer. I know how to handle the pressure. I’m here to support the next generation.

Which brings us back to the beginning, since Hollywood is a crazy place: What would be your stress animal if you could transform, like in this movie.

I want something fuzzy because when you comb yourself that looks like it feels good. If I was sad or depressed, I’d want to rub my own shoulders. I’m a total self-soother.