‘Los Vargas’ has crazy, good times

I just got a sneak peak at the new reality TV show starring former boxing champ Fernando Vargas and his Vegas family (before it comes out Jan. 26). The takeaway?

The cast keeps calling each other crazy. They’re not crazy. This is the most well-adjusted, God-fearing family you’ve never seen. Here’s the craziest part I could find in “Los Vargas”:

Fernando’s father-in-law puts Tupperware in the oven and it burns, so Fernando’s wife Martha says, “You just ruined all my Tupperwares” (sic) and at that point, I thought, “Is this a George Lopez routine?”

Then Martha is getting her makeup done by a pro in her big Vegas estate, and she is trying to enjoy being pampered, but her four kids keep swarming around her.

“Every time I close my eyes, there’s a new kid,” Martha says. “The last time I had ‘me time’ was probably when I was 14, before I had any kids.”

Uh, hello, George Lopez?

This Mun2 channel show is like an antidote to all the evil, villainous mean people on reality shows. Fernando says, “God is good.” He gets vocalist Frankie J to sing to Martha onstage on Fremont Street. And the worst thing the kids do is swim without wearing suntan lotion.

Now, if you think I’m complaining about the portrayal of a good family on TV, you’re crazy. I hate reality shows. I hate their inauthenticity. I hate their cruel stupid villain-bores.

However, the people in “Los Vargas” are not dramatic or cruel villains, and you should know that as a potential viewer. By the way, Fernando is an executive producer, so he is partly in control of this image being presented. This is not a documentary.

If you’re a fan who would like to help hype the show, look for the married couple to promote the show at 11 a.m. today near the Harmon/Strip video billboard.

MORE VEGAS ON TV

If you have never experienced the Summerlin Community Garage Sale (I have never heard of it), you can do so on TV, because it will be featured on Saturday night’s debut of the new Spike TV show, “Thrift Hunters.”

On the show, two dudes go around the country looking for places to buy $2 T-shirts and such. America. We’re No. 1.

RAWK, CLASSIC

LVH’s “Raiding the Rock Vault,” starring musicians from all kinds of vintage rock bands, has been signed to play there through this year.

COCKTAIL

At Spearmint Rhino, bartender Erik Mora set a Guinness World Record by pouring 1,559 different cocktails in an hour, beating the previous record (1,003 in New York). Each unique cocktail had to consist of alcohol and two other ingredients. Mora has worked at the strip club for a decade. In the official Guinness video of the event, he thanked “all my family here at the Rhino.”

SEXY NERD ALERT

Something called “Nerdesque! Evil Geniuses: The Ones We Love to Hate” will go down one-night-only at The Sci-Fi Center, 600 E. Sahara Ave. Suite 12 on Saturday.

Look at these fun-fact names of burlesque performers on the bill: Greta Grenade, Mercury Troy, Jeffrey Xerxes Brice, La Rosa Muerta, Precari Ous Lea and Sarah X, plus host Anita Brassiere. Tickets: BrownPaperTickets.com/event/547587.

Doug Elfman’s column appears on Page 3A in the main section on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.