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‘Come with me if you want to live!’

I’m not a criminal — I feel I should say that after a Facebook acquaintance recently complained about all the attention paid to crimes committed by NFL members and wanted to know how many of the journalists covering them were lawbreakers themselves. Not me!

But if I was a criminal, or thinking about becoming one, I’d seriously rethink that after watching the new Ross Miller for attorney general biographical spot. (It’s linked below.) Miller is terrifying when he looks into the camera and says, “As attorney general, I’ll prosecute scam artists and sexual predators, and protect families across Nevada.”

Well, forget that fraudulent telemarketing boiler room operation I was planning! I’m going straight! Is this guy the son of a former governor, or a cybernetic organism sent back in time by the resistance to save Sarah Conner? Just put that photo of Miller’s menacing glare up at the border and in the airports and nobody in Nevada will ever commit a crime again!

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STEVE SEBELIUS: Back off, New Hampshire!

Despite a change made by the Democratic National Committee, New Hampshire is insisting on keeping its first-in-the-nation presidential primary, and even cementing it into the state constitution.