Hasten the day to end discrimination

Think that legalizing same-sex marriage is wrong? Don't tell me. Tell Antioco Carrillo and Megan Lanz.

Those two are co-plaintiffs in the Lambda Legal lawsuit that seeks to overturn Nevada's anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment. They were guests along with me on Monday on KNPR's "State of Nevada" show.

As I listened to them share their personal stories, I realized how much more there is to the same-sex marriage debate.

While I had adequately laid out the political and legal issues during the first part of the show, Carrillo and Lanz put a human face on the issue in a way I simply could not. (You can listen to the show for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/ctsvs6g.)

Carrillo, leading an HIV-prevention program, met his partner at church. They've known each other for nearly two decades, and they've declined to go out of state to get married in a jurisdiction that allows it, because to them it's not a game. It's about getting the recognition that thousands of people come to Las Vegas to get, sometimes on a whim.

In fact, he recalls when he applied for a marriage license and was told the state of Nevada doesn't allow gay people to marry each other, a straight couple from Iowa in line behind him tearfully reconsidered their own decision to marry in Las Vegas. A town that didn't grant its own residents the right to marry just wasn't for them.

Lanz met her partner at UNLV, and when her partner proposed, she proffered the engagement ring her father had given her mother. When they had their first child, the delivery room nurse at the hospital made a point to tell Lunz that they had a right to exclude her, but that they had decided against it because staff members were being nice.

Hearing Carrillo and Lanz describe their relationships, their lives and their struggle for equality, I was struck by something. All too often, we hear gay-friendly people say gay marriage should be allowed because - in stark contrast to the warnings of conservatives - it doesn't impact straight marriage or the community at large.

We're wrong. There is an impact. It makes our community better to have such people in it, stronger for their example and for their perseverance in the face of discrimination and disdain.

But that attitude is fading, with each new court ruling, each new poll, each young voter who comes to the polls unaffected by the prejudices of the past. And now, those pushing for equality in marriage count a powerful ally in President Barack Obama, who last week became the first sitting chief executive to come out in support of same-sex marriage.

"It's been heartening to know that he's made good on his commitment that he'll continue to see (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) people as part of the fabric of our community," says Joe Solmonese, president the Human Rights Campaign.

Solmonese will be in Las Vegas on Saturday to celebrate at the annual Las Vegas Gala dinner, a dinner made all the more special because of the president's stance.

And not just the president's, but others, too. Obama was preceded in his comments by Vice President Joe Biden, and followed by U.S. Sen. Harry Reid. Although Reid said his personal view - that marriage should be between men and women - had not changed, he acknowledged it was time for civil society to allow gay people to enjoy the franchise.

It's not clear whether Nevada's constitutional bar to gay marriage will be stricken by the voters or by the courts, but what is clear is that it will, someday, be stricken. Whenever that is, I know at least two couples for whom it can't come soon enough.

Steve Sebelius is a Review-Journal political columnist and author of the blog SlashPolitics.com. Follow him on Twitter (@SteveSebelius) or reach him at 387-5276 or SSebelius@reviewjournal.com.